Ever since I moved back to St. Louis in 2004 I have had split-season Rams tickets. At the time I was a casual fan at best and since the Rams didn’t move to St. Louis until 1995 I had always felt like a baseball fan in disguise when I watched them play. But season tickets sounded like fun and a good excuse to spend time with my Dad and drink massive quantities of alcohol at 8am. As perfect a Sunday as I could imagine.
In 2004 the two Super Bowl appearances were still fresh in my mind and with Mike Martz at the helm I thought another appearance was imminent. It was not to be. Martz was shown the door soon after and the Rams have become the laughingstock (ok second to the Lions) of the League.
My Dad no longer attends games with me and I can’t drink nearly as much as I could 4 short years ago. In the 4 regular season games I attended the Rams went 0-4 and weren’t even competitive for the majority of the season. For this “privilege” I shelled out nearly $750 for my 2 seats.
My season recap:
New York Giants L 41-13
This was the Home Opener so I was pretty pumped even considering we had been destroyed by the Eagles the week before. My brother (who is still partially in college mode) came with me so I was trying mightily to keep up with him on the $9 beers which is probably why I remember mostly nothing about this game. What stands out for me is going to Hooters after the game and closing that place down at 11pm. That’s right 12 solid hours of drinking. God knows how much we tipped but all we got out of it was our waitress telling us she “was kinda into girls”. Perfect. For any of you in St. Louis you know taking the Metrolink home at this hour is out of the question. We had to hustle through the vacant (and dark) streets of downtown to find a cab and get our butts home safely. Luckily our cab driver made a few wrong turns and was quite possibly tweaking on meth. He also said Ryan Ludwick was potentially the NL MVP. Clearly he was doing some kind of drugs. It’s not a coincidence that many of my memories from this season do not center on the games themselves.
Buffalo Bills L 31-14
In Scott Linehan’s final game before they (finally) kicked him to the curb the Rams were embarrassed once again. Linehan departed with a stellar 11-25 record as Head Coach. My only memory from this game was the crowd. Let me say that my seats are relatively decent so I’m not sure how some of these hoosiers get down there but there they were. About 2 rows in front of me were two guys in Buffalo t-shirts. Clearly a father-son team with working class roots — maybe union pipe fitters or something. These guys were hammered beyond belief and kept screaming the same thing: “BUFFA-LO! BUFFA-LO!” for 3 hours. It was truly painful. I think we left after 3 quarters.
Chicago Bears L 27-3
Games against the Bears are always annoying. During these games a sea of Bears fans descends upon St. Louis. Sometimes it seems like there are more Bears fans than Rams fans. They’re certainly louder than Rams fans. This generally leads to an away game atmosphere at The Dome especially when Chicago is dominating. After the half Bears fans began filtering in from the rafters to replace the early departing fans. A group of 4 hooligans sat right behind us and began harassing everyone who was leaving early. I hate leaving early but this team has been painful to watch! So we bit the bullet and left in the early 4th quarter. And yes we got hassled by 4 drunken turds from Chicago whose team is going nowhere. Oh well.
Seattle Seahawks L 23-20
This game was a playoff for which 2-11 team would reside in the NFC West cellar. I believe my friend Jon specifically picked this game to attend because hey “we might actually win this one”. We didn’t. Besides a sweet Bulger to Holt touchdown the Rams played pretty poorly. This was hidden by fact that the Seahawks are truly godawful. Seneca Wallace has no business being an NFL quarterback. We thought this one was in the bag until Seattle tied it up with 5 minutes remaining. We knew the Rams would blow it so we left early (again this was painful). By the time we got to Hooters for a postgame pitcher it was over. A last second field goal sealed it. And the Rams go 0-4 in games I attend this season.
In case you think I just stare at cheerleaders all game (which I do) here’s how I break down the season: OJ Atogwe, Donnie Jones, and Josh Brown are the only players who are worth a damn. Jason Craft had a couple moments and I’d like to see Kenneth Darby (from Alabama!) get a shot at the second HB position next year. Chris Long had a decent rookie year. The rest of the team should be burned to the ground. The Rams should try to hire Mike Singletary, Bill Cowher, or Steve Spagnuolo as Head Coach, draft Andre Smith (Alabama again!) or Matthew Stafford, and fire the entire front office. I mean everyone!
Yes I’ll be shelling out the cash for season tickets again next year. I love Sunday afternoons at The Dome too much! C’mon on Rams do something this offseason!
I haven’t had much time to blog lately but here are some things that have been on my mind.
Football Specifically Alabama-Florida. While Alabama is my team and they were ranked #1 I didn’t really expect them to keep up with Florida in this one. Florida had been destroying teams for 6 weeks and Alabama was winning close games with a tough defense and no mistakes. Alabama looked strong but in the end Florida prevailed 31-20. Florida was favored by 10 and they needed a touchdown and extra point with 2:55 remaining to cover. I can only imagine what the sports book at Caesar’s was like while all this was unfolding. I can say this Gary Danielson obviously has wet dreams for Tim Tebow. I can’t count the amount of times he called him “Bronco Nagurski playing quarterback.” Danielson also has this annoying quirk of shortening everyone’s name for no reason so Rashad became “Shad” and Kareem became “Reem”. Ridiculous.
The Blues I’m not a big hockey fan but my friend Jon has apparently won email of the day on The Morning After like 14 times and it always comes with some nominal prize. Last night he had 7th row seats for the game so I tagged along. It was pretty entertaining and the Blues ended up beating Nashville 5-3 6-3. Admittedly I spent more time admiring the mullets in the crowd than actually watching the game. The NHL is like a white trash Bermuda Triangle.
Bachelor Party This summer I’m going to be the best man in my old college roommate Laef’s wedding. Now Laef lives in LA so I was sweating trying to figure out how to plan a bachelor party in a city I’ve been to twice. We could have defaulted to Vegas but that’s been done before. Laef suggested Lake Tahoe. It sounds pretty fun — drinking, boating, gambling. Not bad. Now if I can just keep any incriminating evidence from his fiance Allison we should be good to go. After building their website and planning this party from 1900 miles away I’m turning out to be the best Best Man ever!
Killing Vegas My girlfriend had her first show with her new cover band last week and did pretty well. Her brother plays guitar in the band too so that’s cool. Killing Vegas will be playing again on Christmas Eve Eve at The Phoenix so stop by if you’re around.
There are many different things you might find me doing on a weekend: sports bar, beer, football, strip club, movies, napping, growing a beard, and lounging. None of these things would be considered particularly “classy”. This weekend was a little different. Everything I did either supported the arts or was a notch above what you otherwise may find me doing. I had culture shooting out of my ass.
A recap:
Friday Normally my musical tastes skew toward a combination of Death Metal, 70’s Country, and Gangsta Rap but my girlfriend has a thing for Jazz. I decided to humor her (once!) and we headed to Jazz at the Bistro in Grand Center to see her friend Shaun Robinson play. They were a very talented group of guys and while Jazz is typically not my thing I would go back and see them again. We capped the evening with a couple martinis at Jimmy’s On The Park.
Saturday While I did allow myself some time to watch my beloved Tide stomp Mississippi State 32-7 football did not dominate my Saturday for the first time in 11 weeks. Instead we headed to Frontenac with some friends to see Let the Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in) at the St. Louis International Film Festival. This was a Swedish film which “tells a darkly atmospheric, poetic and surprisingly tender story of adolescence … and vampirism.” It was excellent. It tells the story of a 12 year old loner who befriends a vampire of the same age. After awhile the subtitles were not at all distracting and the film had some great visuals. Unfortunately Let the Right One In is scheduled to be remade and bastardized by Matt Reeves (Cloverfield). We finished the night discussing the movie over a bottle of Syrah at Sasha’s Wine Bar in Clayton.
Sunday Since I’ve given up on the Rams this season I figured I’d stick with the theme of the weekend and see what other educational experiences I could drum up. I ended up at the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park. While I typically find history somewhat interesting this place is a bore. It basically consisted of the history of beer, Charles Lindbergh, and the 1904 World’s Fair. I didn’t see any of the more interesting subjects like Harry S Truman, Missouri during the Civil War, history of architecture in St. Louis, etc. Mo History needs to step it up. I really think St. Louis needs to step up and build some world class museums like Chicago. I then spent some time walking around the park and Wash U - where I’m considering going to business school but probably won’t ($68,000????). After the walk I headed over to the Tivoli and saw another movie being featured in the festival, a documentary called Number One With A Bullet. It “explores the interrelationships between guns, poverty, drugs, hip-hop culture and cultural violence”. It featured interviews with Mos Def, KRS-One, Obie Trice, Ice Cube, and others discussing the institutional violence in the innercity. This one was good but not great.
So there you have it. Jazz, martinis, foreign films, and museums. This was definitely a different type of weekend for me. It was nice but I’m ready to get back on track by attending the Metallica show tonight!!!
Today is Halloween - probably the greatest holiday ever created. Girls dress like skanks, candy comes in fun sizes, and I can wear a cape without getting strange looks. Also you’re almost guaranteed to get some action. If you can’t get laid on one of the big party nights — Halloween, NYE, St. Patty’s, Mardi Gras, or Cinco de Mayo — then you can’t get laid period. Good luck out there!
A look at Halloween past:
2006: Vinnie Paul’s Greatest Fan
This was a fun year. Although it was balls cold in St. Louis I went with just the Pantera t-shirt and no coat. It’s the first time I celebrated my love of metal in costume form.
(I’m still looking to add the pictures for these next two)
2003: Old Lady Piggyback and Elvis
My brother Brandon and college roommate Jon pose in their costumes. I’ll always remember this as the year Jon and I both lost our IDs somewhere in the bars of Springfield, MO and never found them again. While wearing costumes with no pockets we just decided to “hold our IDs and cash in our hands all night”. Seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.
2002: Superman
I’m not sure if the girls thought the molded foam abs were real but they flocked to the Superman costume. Every girl in the bar wanted a picture with me. This was not a bad year.
This will be my first and last post about the 2008 Presidential Election. I find people that harp on and on about topics like religion or politics insufferable. Mainly because most people are stupid (see: Cubs Fans). I’m writing this because people are asking why I’ve made this decision (I have voted Republican in the past). This will be a long post so feel free to skip it.
Foreign Policy Sarah Palin may not know what the Bush Doctrine is but I do. It’s a policy filled with neoconservative ideals about using pre-emptive strikes against nations with “real or perceived threats against the United States” while acting unilaterally (i.e. without getting permission from the United Nations). It has directly contributed to the rising Anti-American sentiment across the Globe in for the past 7-8 years. Well guess what? It turns out you can’t design a foreign policy like it’s an action film (Explosions good. Dialogue bad). Life is not a movie. Obama favors engaging in talks with the leaders of countries such as Iran and North Korea instead of just going in there guns blazing. Seems like common sense.
The Economy Obama favors cutting taxes for individuals that make less that $200,000 and raising taxes on the richest 1% of Americans. The top tax bracket would jump from 35% to 39.6% which would still be less than it was in the 1990’s. Warren Buffett supports rasing taxes on the richest Americans and he has endorsed Obama. Buffett is my go to guy (along with George Soros) on the economy and I don’t take anything he says lightly. You can read the long list of Obama’s economic policies here.
Universal Health Care Despite what some people would have you believe access to Health Care is a right. It is morally imperative that we (finally!!!) implement some form of National Health Care system. If you are sick and we have the ability to make you better you should be afforded that care. The United States is one of the few developed nations that has no National Healthcare (see map). Obama’s plan is a step in that direction. It guarantees health care for children and establishes a new public insurance program which makes insurance available to those who can’t afford it or don’t have access to it through work. McCain is against Universal Health Care. He wants to cut Medicare by $1.3 trillion and move away from employer provided insurance. He wants to give individuals $2500 to find their own insurance or be taxed on employer provided insurance. Either way things will get more expensive for me. This is as convoluted of a plan as I’ve ever heard.
The Science President Obama plans to lift the Federal ban on stem cell research, restore the position of Science Advisor to the President, create a Chief Technology Officer for the nation, reduce carbon emissions, provide broadband internet access for every American (an absolute necessity in my opinion), and create a Space Council that will report directly to the President. Are you aware that the US will have no manned spaceflight capacity from 2010-2015? It’s true (we’ll be hitching a ride with the Russians like a common Space Tourist). This is unacceptable. He also supports Net Neutrality and energy independence. Obama’s proposed policies would mark a dramatic shift from the Bush Administration’s War on Science.
McCain Sucks Let me count the ways:
Being a POW does not qualify you to be President. He went through some terrible things in Vietnam but I’m sorry that doesn’t mean he can lead this country. Please stop mentioning this in every speech you give!
He has an uncontrollable temper. He once called his wife “a cunt” in a fit of rage and has a Napolean complex (he’s only 5′7″). This is not the type of person I want with his finger on the button.
He lies. Constantly. I don’t even pay that much attention and I’ve been shocked by the amount of misleading statements I’ve noticed in McCain’s campaign ads. Especially the one about Obama raising your taxes. It’s just not true! Calculate how much Obama would cut your taxes. Another favorite of mine is McCain’s claim that Obama voted for sex education for 5 year olds. Um yeah. He voted to educate children about sexual predators. “I’m John McCain and I approved this message.” I was absolutely shocked when I heard that lie. Other people were too. Did you notice?
He picked an idiot to be his running mate. In an obvious move to pander to Hilary Clinton’s base he selected a woman as his VP candidate. Well guess what? Women are not some monolithic group who vote for a someone just because she has a vagina. The candidate has to be qualified and knowledgeable! Sarah Palin is corrupt, believes dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth at the same time, and is a Jesus Freak. That last one is a biggie for me. I cannot stand people who inject their personal religious beliefs into decisions that will effect everyone (see: Bush, George W.).
He’s old. Somebody once told me that ageism is just as bad a racism and sexism. That person is a moron. Why? Do you know what happens once you get old? You fucking die. Will McCain live another 4 or 8 years? Maybe. Maybe not. He’s 72 years old and has had every kind of skin cancer possible. He’s cancer free today but what about tomorrow. Given that Sarah Palin would take over in the event of McCain’s death this is a campaign issue! Age was also an issue when Bob Dole ran in 1996. He was 73 at the time and is still alive today so who knows? I’m not willing to risk it though.
McCain was involved in the Keating 5 scandal which directly cost the taxpayers at least $2.6 billion and quite possibly much more.
These are my opinions. Vote for who you want but please educate yourself about your candidate. You can read more about Obama’s policies and McCain’s policies.
Over 1,000,000 people have been killed since the US invasion of Iraq in 2003. This is a country that posed a “perceived threat” against the United States. Under the Bush Doctrine invasion was justifiable.
A woman at a McCain campaign rally says she doesn’t trust Obama because “he’s an Arab”. McCain corrects her and is booed. People are brilliant.
This is part 2 in a 2 part series about summer 2008 movies. For part 1 click here.
This post will focus on movies released roughly between July and September.
Just like before as a nod to the Hollywood lifestyle films are rated on a 5 coke booger scale. 1 being a key hit (terrible film) and 5 being Tony Montana’s desk mound of blow (great film).
Wall-E (2/5)
Overrated! I don’t really mind that this was a political cartoon although I didn’t really come to watch that. What I didn’t like was the full hour without any dialogue. I mean this isn’t Tom Hanks in Cast Away here we’re basically trying to humanize cartoons - something that’s very difficult to do. I also don’t like mixing humans with animation and I never have. It’s one reason I didn’t like Roger Rabbit as a kid. The animation from Pixar was amazing as usual.
The Dark Knight (4/5)
I’ve never been a big fan of the Batman movies even when I was younger. They almost seemed too cartoonish which may sound ridiculous since these are comic book movies but I always like a good action movie better. The Dark Knight delivers. There are tons of explosions and Heath Ledger is amazing as the Joker. Unfortunately he’s dead now. Not sure how good a sequel will be. My only complaint is that this film is overly long and the Two-Face character seemed rushed. Also, I saw this movie in IMAX which added really nothing but shot my ticket prices up to $12 apiece.
Tropic Thunder (1/5)
I don’t know why I had such high expectations for this movie. I mean Ben Stiller has made a lot (a lot!) of crap films in his career. But this one had Robert Downey, Jr. and Jack Black and the previews were deceptively funny. The film however was godawful. I actually remember leaving the theater and saying aloud, “Well that was fucking terrible” because it was. The funniest part was the fake movie previews in the beginning which was then followed by a 2 hour crapfest.
Still Want to see
Pineapple Express
Burn After Reading
Hamlet 2
On the fence
The Rocker
The X-Files
Step Brothers
The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor
No Interest at all
Hellboy II
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Death Race
The House Bunny
The Lost Weekend is the annual man trip to Chicago to see the Cards-Cubs series, drink cheap beer, and bet on who’s most likely to die that weekend. For the 3 years that I’ve been a part of it we’ve spent most of our time drinking and dancing at Sluggers and the Cubby Bear. This year was a little different. At the urging of Oldangerous to go check out “the country bar” we found ourselves at the Houndstooth Saloon. After a few cocktails I looked up and saw this:
A sign supporting my favorite team - the University of Alabama!
I looked around again and saw various flags, signs, and tshirts hanging around the bar. After grilling the bartender it was determined that this was the official bar of the Chicago Area University of Alabama Alumni Association. At that time I knew I would never leave. We spent about 2 hours there Friday and what must’ve been 6 hours there Saturday. The place was filled with screaming, dancing Alabama fans, warm 40’s of Bud Light, and the best country DJ I’ve ever heard. I’ll be back. In fact I might just have to buy the place and run it myself.
The rest of the weekend was fairly typical - calling each other gay, eating disgusting Chicago Pizza, staying in a dumpy motel, and reenacting West Side Story. Nobody died, there was very little vomiting, and we all successfully caught the plane and made it back to St. Louis in one piece. Until next year!
With the news that the SEC has placed 5 times in the top 10 of the AP College Football Rankings the argument is over: The SEC plays the best football around. While I have friends who are fans of the Big 12 and Pac-10 I prefer a conference where the defense is tough, the coaches are excellent, and winning is expected.
I’ve been an Alabama fan since my Dad plopped me down in front of the TV at the age of 2. While Alabama has had a few down years recently they’ve hired a great coach in Nick Saban and are ranked #9 after smacking around Western Kentucky on Saturday. The conference schedule will be tough and whoever does end up taking it deserves to be in the Natinal Championship game.
The SEC has five (5!!) coaches that have won a National Title - Saban, Meyer, Miles, Spurrier, and Fulmer. Another - Tuberville - had a 13-0 team in 2004 but didn’t get to play for the title.
The last two National Championships have been won by SEC schools - LSU and Florida
I love the SEC and I’m mainly writing this post because Matt has been pissing me with his pro-Mizzou garbage. Let there be no doubt if Mizzou played Georgia they would give up 90 points. It’s tough to live in a place where nobody knows enough about college football to have a decent conversation.
