This weekend was my annual trip to the Missouri Valley Conference tournament. I came to the realization that I’ve been to 7 consecutive conference tournaments and 9 out of the last 11. It’s shocking to me how old I’m getting. I was there to cheer on my Alma mater, Missouri State, and consume mass quantities of alcohol. Pretending you are still a college student for 3 days a year is still socially acceptable I think.
Despite 12 years of missing the NCAA Tournament (hello Barry Hinson era) I had reason to be hopeful for the Bears chances this year. Coach Cuonzo Martin had the team playing well and they managed a 15-3 record and their first ever MVC regular season title. Things were looking up for the program. But the MVC was down this year as it has been recently and it was looking like a 1 bid league again. So the only way for the Bears to make the NCAA tournament was to win the MVC outright or sit on our (pretty weak) resume and pray for an at large spot.
Day 1
The Bears had the #1 seed in the tournament and drew Southern Illinois who is an absolutely terrible team and had just lost to MSU by 20 points. We weren’t worried. I kicked the day off at 9am with my old roommate Jon and served up some beer, mimosas, and bagels. Things were looking good for some epic belligerence. This game was a lot closer than it should’ve been. The Bears could not make a shot. It was awful. We actually left our seats in disgust with 2 minutes to go and the Bears down by 9. After a last second change of heart we stayed in the arena and watched the game from the SRO section. Thank God we stayed. The Bears finally put it all together and went on an 11-0 run to win the game 58-56. We were pumped but definitely worried about the next game. On the way out I think I managed to berate (good naturedly) both Springfield broadcasting “legend” Art Hains and former AD Bill Rowe. Good times.
Now the fun really started. We met one of my coworkers (an SIU alum) in the Scottrade garage to gloat and do a little post-game drinking. They all seemed relatively happy since this now means they can fire their coach Chris Lowery. Somehow (and this is where I’m getting hazy) we managed to get into a suite for the second game. Here’s the view:
Since there was free beer I was ready to hunker down for rest of the afternoon. That was until Jon said “Dude let’s get out of here.” I didn’t get it. Then he said “Let’s get out of here NOW!” Ok then. So we left and when we hit the street I realized why. Jon proceeded to projectile vomit about 30-40 feet. I mean this was a rocket. Totally epic. We were also in a crowd of people so we got the hell out of there real quick.
Now let me tell you about Jon. His situation (read: WIFE) doesn’t allow him to drink very often so when he decides to throw down it usually goes horribly wrong. He even found out he had a curfew of 8pm (yes that is true) so he wanted to stay out longer. Which led to this:
He took a little nappy at Houlihan’s. But then he still wanted to stay out. So we ended up going to my new favorite bewb-tastic restaurant Show Me’s. It’s sort of like Hooters except the food is 100% inedible and the waitress are at least semi-attractive. Jon eventually gave up so we did manage to get him home by his curfew and spare me the wrath of another pissed off wife.
Day 2
The coeds were looking good on Saturday:
On day 2 I tore one off again. This time with my brother and dad. It was a similar story for Missouri State. They shot like crap and generally played poorly but still won. This time over Creighton 60-50. My dad can keep up with us (at least he thinks so) so it was a pretty good time. We took the Metrolink back to Show Me’s to see the sights then we went to Morgan Street and had some drinks and (possibly?) danced around like idiots. Soon we had to send daddy back home to St. Charles County on the train. He was done for.
This would’ve been a good place to stop but since we had to miss Mardi Gras this year we called a few people over to my house for a Hurricance. Somehow this lasted until 2am. Not a good idea. A (nameless) few of us were non-functional by Sunday.
Day 3
By day 3 I was dogging it and so was everybody else. We met up with about 10 people who had driven in from various parts of the state to see this championship game. They would have to face the long drive home disappointed.
Again the Bears looked like garbage. After shooting 19% in the second half (yes that is accurate) they somehow still had a chance to win. But Jermaine Mallet dribbled the ball off his foot with 3 seconds left for the turnover. Talk about a kick in the stomach.
So now we sit on the bubble again. Yahoo, Pat Forde, Joe Lunardi and The KC Star have us out of the NCAA tournament. It could be the 4th snub in 12 years for these Bears. That sucks.
March 7th, 2011
Hello? Is this thing on? I haven’t written a blog in 9 months and since I have so many lame married friends living vicarious I really need to keep up with this. Here’s a recap of the last 9 months in pictures.
In June I took a trip to Hermann Wine Country. The train ride was fun, the town is very nice, and the wine sucks. I still managed to drink 4 bottles. Passed out by 6pm and barfed all the next day. I think I’ve drank 2 glasses of wine since then.
This summer I built a fence. If you read Updates from the Alley you know that this was beyond necessary. Way too much sketchiness in my first year in this house.
It was pretty simple especially since we started with the pre-fab panels from Home Depot.
Fully assembled:
This is the best thing I have done to the house so far. No shootouts or ditched getaway cars in the yard since this project was finished.
I spent the 4th of July at the Lake of the Ozarks for 2 days of Killing Vegas shows. I don’t think I’ve ever drank that much light beer.
In August I took a trip to the beaches of Lower Alabama and grew an awesome beard:
Oil skimmers be damned:
In September I hosted a bachelor party:
Gah no pictures exist! I wish I could erase my brain of that night just as easily! Good God!
After surviving that bachelor party I served as best man to my old roommate Jon. This was my 2nd time serving as a best man and I’m scheduled to do it again later this year. After that I’m retiring from the best man business. I love you all now leave me alone. The amount of alcohol that I require to give a speech always leads to something like this:
For Halloween I went as Kenny FUCKING Powers. I was pretty popular all night. And by Popular I of course mean frat boys were shouting “You’re fucking out!” to me all night. Forti went as Evil Knievel and John went as some sort of Deacon. I like to think Latvian Orthodox. No Homo.
Another season of Rams football. Another season of drunks passing out all around us.
January 24th, 2011
Last weekend we trucked it down to Nashville for my friend Matt’s bachelor party. I didn’t really know what to expect since Nashville had gone through some really bad flooding the week before. Also I hadn’t seen Matt get super drunk since our trip to Austin in early 2009 so I wasn’t sure if he would survive.
On Friday we loaded up the family truckster (in this case a rented Jeep Commander) and braved bad storms and traffic for the 5 hour drive to Nashville. Once we got there it seemed the flooding had virtually disappeared. There was some dirt on a few buildings and Hooters was closed but beyond that there wasn’t really any noticeable damage. We were ready to party.
Our first stop: Layla’s Bluegrass Inn to see my favorite local band Jypsi. After watching their set and swilling some $1 PBR we went to Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge which was fairly insane. There was a competing bachelor party full of fratboy douche which I was sure would cause a fist fight. Luckily it didn’t happen. We closed the night out dancing to some country jams at The Stage.
On Saturday morning I woke up feeling like I had been kicked in the head by a mule. The room was destroyed from a late night White Castle run that I barely remember. I didn’t get out of bed until after noon then stumbled to a bar for some greasy food and little hair of the dog. That evening was more of the same: a mediocre Stout at Big River Brewing, dancing/shuffling at Decades, the Skynyrd/Nugent cover band at Big Shotz, then closing it out at The Stage. We waited until 5am for a pizza delivery then woke up 4 hours later for the drive home. Awesome.
Overall it was a successful weekend. Nobody died and nobody pulled a Mario Lopez.
May 17th, 2010
This past fall I bought a home. I bought it in a “gentrifying” area of St. Louis (read: only 50% sketchy). Why would I do this? I couldn’t help it! It’s #73 on Stuff White People Like!
I love my house but there is the occasional disturbance that does occur mainly in the form of loud neighbors and speeding cars. Those are things I can deal with. Now maybe it’s the spring weather but in the past month there have been some extra sketchy things going on in the alley behind my house. My backyard opens directly to the alley. No fence, no garage, nothing. Sketchy.
Here’s the summary:
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I come home for lunch one day to let my dog out. As I walk outside I see an abandoned car, crime scene tape, and about 30 police officers standing around. Not the most encouraging scene. After talking to a detective I determined that the guy who caused this accident which killed a police officer decided to ditch his car in my backyard. In MY backyard. Why? What are the odds? I’m in the middle of the block! Luckily the guy was caught and will probably be serving 25 years for 2nd degree murder.
-
Last Wednesday I came home around 9pm and once again let the dog out. This time there’s a police car in the alley directly behind my home and 4-5 officers with flashlights and guns drawn searching around. Looking in dumpsters, behind fences, under decks, etc. Apparently looking for a “black male with dreadlocks.” A police helicopter hovered over my neighborhood for at least 30 minutes. I haven’t 100% been able to determine what was going on but I think a woman was robbed about a mile away and the guy must’ve somehow found his way to my ‘hood. And my alley apparently!
-
Jump to yesterday. Sunday. This is much less scandalous but still not something I would see living in the suburbs. I was sitting in my kitchen enjoying my weekly Mimosa when I look outside to see a firefighter at the home diagonal to mine across the alley. I take a walk outside and I guess there was some kind of small kitchen fire because there are firefighters on a ladder breaking out windows for ventilation and smoke billowing (ok not quite billowing) into the air.
Needless to say my top priority this spring/summer is garage and fence. I already have the bids in I just need to secure some financing. City living at it’s finest! Now where’s that gentrification?
April 19th, 2010
No not the kind of Daddy that has to raise his genetic offspring, or the kind that has to worry about schooling, or my child becoming the town skank. Because this isn’t the type of child that started as a twinkle in my eye (balls). It’s the kind that has 4 legs and is covered in fur. We got a new puppy!
Trying to think of a name I was looking toward naming him after a famous figure in literature or music. Somebody that I would be proud of naming my pooch after. After many (MANY!) ideas I decided to go the simple route and name him after a key ingredient in one of my favorite drinks. So here he is —- Barley!
So far owning this dog hasn’t been much different that raising a human child (I imagine). There have been too many 5am whining wake up calls and some epic dumps on the living room floor. But we’re working on it. He’s only 8 weeks old right now and he just got his first puppy shots. Soon we’ll start leash training and taking him to Tower Grove Park for his walks.
He is 3/4 Chocolate Lab and 1/4 German Shepard (I think) so he could grow to be a big ‘un. All the more reason to spend my evenings trying to train this little monster.
Here’s a few more pictures:
March 11th, 2010
Wow I haven’t written a post since Nov 17th. Definitely not meeting the Project 52 challenge. At least I finally have something interesting enough to write about: This weekend I’m making my 6th trip to Las Vegas.
It’s hard to explain why but Vegas has always been my favorite place to visit. Maybe it’s because out of all the times I’ve been there this is the only photo that even approaches work safe:
That picture was taken in The Centrifuge at MGM. She was our bartender and in a quote I’ll always remember stated: “You guys need to move your beers; I’m going to dance up here.” Talk about awesome.
But that’s not my favorite Vegas moment. Oh no. How could it be? With stories like this to choose from:
- The time my brother was picked up by a Hooker at Tao
- The time I saw the Pledgemaster from Sorority Life at New York, New York (yes, this was a very popular MTV show at the time).
- After a night of drinking meeting two coeds at Studio 54 and coining the phrase “Two 4’s equals an 8!” (I had to wash my balls in boiling water the next day)
- Winning $250 in the Pleasure Pit with half a rod on.
- The time my brother and I spent 6 hours sitting drinking Everclear punch just because the bartender was hot. We passed out watching Everybody Loves Raymond at 11pm that night.
- The helicopter ride with the drunken redneck. The next morning – some 11 hours later – we saw him wandering the floor of the Rio with the same denim Austin jumpsuit he was wearing the night before.
- Spending some amount of money – $40/$60? – at an O2 bar with the Oldanis. Seriously who does that?
Sure I’ve gotten into plenty of ridiculous situations here at home but nothing like Vegas. And that’s why I love it.
This will be my first Super Bowl weekend in Vegas so we’re looking for a good place to party. Maybe all you can eat buffet/drinks. Anybody have any good places?
February 2nd, 2010
Well I finally did it. Spurred on by the First Time Homebuyer’s Tax Credit and a desire to stop having the police called on me everytime I have people over, I’ve purchased my first home.
But this is no ordinary home. Located in the Shaw Neigborhood, this home is a Queen Anne-style Victorian era home of 2200 square feet, modern amenities, and historic charm. Or something. I just know it’s pretty cool.
The neighborhood is cool too. I can walk to Tower Grove Park and the Missouri Botanical Garden or go drinking in the CWE, South Grand, or Morgan Ford Strip.
This house was built in 1897 so it’s a little different than the vinyl siding builder’s grade houses I lived while I was growing up in the suburbs.
Here’s a few pictures (Note: not my furniture):
Updated Kitchen:
Master Suite:
Updated Bathroom:
Basement Mancave:
Dining Room:
So far I feel OK. I’ve been watching a lot more DIY, HGTV, and The Food Network than before and I’m worried about mowing the grass but for the most part I’ve been a lot less stressed out than I figured I would be.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think of my new digs!
September 29th, 2009
Well I’ve been back in town for 2 weeks now and I still haven’t written about my trip to California. I’ll get to covering the whole trip next week but first I want to address something specific – the toast I gave to Laef and Allison at their wedding.
I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily bad at public speaking. I mean I give presentations all the time but this was different. This one involved me saying something nice about people. I’m pretty much dead inside so that makes it difficult for me. I was actually nervous. That was surprising. I haven’t felt like that since college and I had to give a presentation on Strategic Management and Lean Operations after not cracking the book for an entire semester.
I think these pictures speak volumes.
Before the toast:
Rocking the mic:
After the toast:
I followed the basic template — introduce yourself, say something funny, tell a story about the groom, thank everyone, and wish the couple well. It went over OK I think. I managed to get through it without any F-bombs or tales of binge drinking and promiscuity (and that was just about the bride!).
Reflecting on my toast there are I few things I meant to say that I didn’t remember to. I think the next time I give a toast I’ll be better prepared and maybe not write it in the limo ride before the ceremony!
August 7th, 2009
Well I’ve taken one more step towards adulthood/death. After 9 years of living in various dorm rooms and apartments I’m shopping for my first house. I have to say it’s not without a little trepidation either. In fact if it wasn’t for Obama’s First Time Homebuyer’s tax credit I probably wouldn’t even be putting myself through this. I don’t even care if this will send us into an inflation death spiral at least my mortgage will be $8000 less than you suckas!
My two biggest fears are:
1) I’m not exactly sold on St. Louis being my forever home. Hell 40% of me thinks I should just pack up and move to LA, or Italy, or Australia, or anything else. I’ve always viewed home ownership as cementing (i.e. trapping) yourself into one place for an extended period of time.
2) I don’t want to live in a shithole. In St. Louis you can get a very nice apartment for $900 a month in almost any neighborhood you want. I’ve lived in UCity, CWE, Clayton, and Maplewood. All because I wanted to. Buying a house is not the same. If I want a nice house I can afford I won’t be able to live in the “hip” neighborhoods or I can get a nice neighborhood and a POS house. Not a favorable situation.
The other big decision I need to make is Suburban or City. With a suburban house you get a bigger yard and less crime but also less activities in your neighborhood. With a city house you’ll have a slightly higher chance of being shot in the head on your way to your car in the morning but all the bars and restaurants are right there.
I think I’m leaning more city. St. Louis has some freaking sweet rehabs in the city. I mean imagine I lived here:
or here even:
The coolest place I’ve looked at is at the top of my price range but a completely rehabbed 3 story house. This sucker is 115 years old! I think that is really cool. Imagine living in a place that is older than every human on the face of the Earth (ok except for one).
I’m going out looking again this weekend (in 110° heat no less) and I’ll hopefully have a better idea of the neighborhood and type of house I want. Either that or I’m moving to Mexico to open a dive shop. I could go either way really.
June 26th, 2009
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