I have some things I need to get Manswered.

July 17th, 2008

Last night I was flipping through the channels looking for nothing in particular when I stumbled upon a new show on Spike called Manswers. Now I don’t usually watch Spike in fact I really have no idea what they have to offer besides UFC. If I was programming a channel for men I would just show Wall Street, Road House, and The Search for the next Penthouse Pet (pretty sure I made that last one up) around the clock.

I clicked the info button and the description read something like this: “Self-defense tips for a bar settings, breast sizes and bowel movements are discussed..” Good Lord! This was the show for me! They finally figured out the whole programming for men thing I’ll tell you that.

The show is described as:

Spike TV answers all of the burning questions men have been dying to ask, but never found socially acceptable.

Basically someone comes up with a stupid question, they ask a bunch of people on the street their opinions, and then they have experts answer them. It’s genius! It’s like every discussion you’ve ever had in a bar but on TV!

The questions I can recall from last night:

How many beers will kill you?
They said 18 would give you alcohol poisoning but they based that on a 160 lb man. I’m around 220 lbs and I’m pretty sure I’ve had over 30 beers once or twice while in college. I’m still alive. I suffered some rough mornings and woke up next to some ugly women but nothing worse. They need to revise this one. Is the average man 160lbs? Really? Sounds tiny.

Which animal is most like a female to sleep with?
Um, yeah. It wouldn’t be a men’s show if you didn’t talk about having sex with something you aren’t supposed to. The manswer was the Dugong, a sea cow like creature. Apparently sailors used to sex these things when they got lonely. I guess their anatomy is closest to that of a female human. That’s about all I’m going to say about that subject.

How do you stop your GF from being a mega bitch?
The manswer was to have unprotected sex with her. Of course then you run the risk of getting her pregnant which would seem to have the exact opposite effect you were going for.

I’ll be tuning into Manswers again. It has a lot of potential. Season 2 starts September 17.