Living in Guyland
September 10th, 2008
In his new book Michael Kimmel questions why young men are delaying adulthood to continue to party with their friends. While the book mainly focuses on a group of douchebag fraternity-types who are out to get drunk, sleep with as many women as possible, and delay entering the workforce I can still find myself relating to these guys.
While I don’t consider myself a “bro” and my life isn’t filled with Jaeger Bombs and promiscuous sex (although I’ve had my moments) I have to disagree with Kimmel’s assertion that these guys are Peter Pans who are delaying becoming “real men.” I’m 26 and while I do have a real job I have no desire to be married and have children at this point in my life. Does that men I’m not a real man? No. I’d rather spend time with my friends, travel, and focus on myself for awhile. There’s not rush for a family and a house in the suburbs. I should be shooting loads for 50+ more years so I don’t really see the point of having kids while you’re in your 20’s. But that doesn’t mean I’m trapped in adolescence. I think Kimmel is writing from the perspective of a baby boomer who comes from a time when men were expected to have a wife and 2 kids by the time they were 28. Times have changed.
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While I was reading about Guyland I came across another awesome/obnoxious book titled Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk. In it Daniel Maurer coins some new terms men should be using while they are around one another. It’s mostly stupid but a few made me laugh:
- Cupgrade – to upgrade to a girl with a bigger bra size.
- Trojan whores — hot chicks that you hide amidst in order to get into a club.
While I’m not proud of it I had my own set of ridiculous Dude Talk when I was in college. Some of the ones I can remember:
- The D.U.F.F. – Designated Ugly Fat Friend. You have to get in good with her before you upgrade to her hotter friend.
- Parking Lot Pimping – After last call and while everyone is all boozed up you search the parking lot of the club for your conquest.
Still I promise I’m not a “bro”.
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10 Comments Add your own
1. Chris | September 10th, 2008 at 10:42 am
WHAT? You don’t want to have a wife and children and a house and a mortgage and a dog and a cat and a parakeet and then go out and buy a motorcycle when you’re 38 and join the hair club for men and get excited about buying a new power tool for the yard and buy a pontoon boat and drive to the lake of the ozarks every month in the summer and listen to talk radio and eat lunch out of tupperware every day?!?!?!? You’re crazy.
2. Nick | September 10th, 2008 at 10:48 am
@Chris Well all of those things sound good (especially the hair club for men) but eventually. Not today.
3. Allison | September 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I suggest 35 as your target marriage age.
And, if I EVER here you say cupgrade in my presence I will kick you in the ballz, which will mean you are downsized for all future relationships.
4. Nick | September 10th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
@Allison – 35 maybe. Possibly 45. It depends on how long my hairline holds up.
5. Allison | September 10th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I’m just sayin’ there comes a point when you can’t pull hot ass. You’ve got to tow that fine line. I will let you know when it’s time to act. (i.e. when you drop from a 3 to a 1 on a scale of 10)
6. Scott | September 11th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Yeah 45 is a bit old to be pimping the parking lots in front of the 18 and up clubs. That is pedofilish.
Makes me think of this quote: “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. ” Wooderson.
No seriously why wouldn’t you want a house in the country. It’s the American Dream! ……..puke!!
7. Oldangerous | September 12th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Lemme lemme cupgrade ya. That’s all I got.
8. Nick | September 12th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Hopefully when I’m 45 I’ll be rich enough to still pull hot tail regardless of how I look.
9. Oldangerous | September 12th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
In this book, does he talk about still listening to teenage angst metal? I may need help.
10. Nick | September 13th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@Oldangerous – If Guyland consisted solely of listening to metal, drinking beer, and farting I think I could consider myself a permanent resident.
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