Summer Movies part I

July 7th, 2008

This is part 1 in a 2 part series on 2008 summer movies. Stay tuned at the end of the summer for the second part.

I love the movies and I go often. From the popcorn and milkduds to the unattainably hot actresses there’s something about going to the movies that makes summer so much fun. I lean toward the films that focus more on explosions than emotions so the summertime is my favorite movie going season. Here’s my review of the films released during the first half of the summer (April-June).

As a nod to the Hollywood lifestyle films are rated on a 5 coke booger scale. 1 being a key hit (terrible film) and 5 being Tony Montana’s desk mound of blow (great film).

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (4/5)
This is a very typical Judd Apatow film. A strange looking guy is with a hot girl then fucks it up by doing something dumb only to redeem himself in the end. It’s formula but it’s a formula that works. Especially since the girls (Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis) are hotter than in any other Apatow film. Also there’s a fair amount of penis. I believe it’s an old Hollywood principle — boobs are sexy but weiner makes people laugh.

Iron Man (5/5)
Loved it! Robert Downey Jr. is a great actor and it’s about time they start casting those for superhero roles. The semi-realistic plot and plenty of explosions make this one a winner. My only problem is that they cast Jeff Bridges as the villain. I seriously can’t even see him on screen without thinking of the dude. “The dude abides, Iron Man.”

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2/5)
Very disappointing. I’m still upset about this one. A few reasons I’ll list: you can’t have a 58 year old woman (Karen Allen) being the love interest. I’m sorry it’s just gross. Shia Lebouf once again brings nothing to the table. In fact I think he actually takes things off the table. I’m supposed to believe he’s a tough motorcycle riding punk? He’s like 5′4″!! Also aliens? WTF? George Lucas bastardizes another franchise.

Wanted (4/5)
This is a surprisingly good film. I went for the Angelina Jolie and ridiculous action sequences and I came out enjoying the whole thing. The plot is a little thin (a magic loom says who should be killed? Wha?) but the action is worth it. They use a lot of free running for the sequences and it’s visually impressive. Also Jolie shows her naked booty (hey tushy tushy). Worth it.

Movies I still want to see:
Wall-E
Kung Fu Panda
Baby Mama

On the fence
You don’t mess with the Zohan
Get Smart
The Happening
The Love Guru

Not a chance in Hell
Sex and the City
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Speed Racer
What Happens in Vegas…
Harold and Kumar something something…