Do a shot instead of a champaign toast. Make shot glasses for all to take. Now that will get Mike Jones early attention.

Note: If you decide to have red-headed sluts as your shot try not to marry one also.

@Laef – I’m still down with with Allison’s plan to have an In ‘n Out truck parked at the reception.

1. It’s cheap, in the neighborhood of 1/2 the price of a chicken or steak dinner. Don’t even get me started on seafood.
2. Quick, name one wedding meal that you’ve eaten that was excellent. You can’t. Even high-priced meals at weddings aren’t great. There is apparently a very high level of skill required to cater a dish for 50-300 people. Getting the meat cooked correctly for a hundred people apparently is the equivalent of rocket science. It’s hard to fuck up pasta, no matter how much you make. I can cook pasta. it’s bland, but OK.
3. If the aforementioned meat product is not cooked correctly, people will not eat it and thus will have nothing in their stomachs for your open bar, and will all pass out by 10. Pasta is a great base and you can be sure everyone is eating it and be ready to party until the wee hours.

So yes, the wedding pasta dish has been played out, but there are good reasons why it’s a logical choice.