With the news that the SEC has placed 5 times in the top 10 of the AP College Football Rankings the argument is over: The SEC plays the best football around. While I have friends who are fans of the Big 12 and Pac-10 I prefer a conference where the defense is tough, the coaches are excellent, and winning is expected.
I’ve been an Alabama fan since my Dad plopped me down in front of the TV at the age of 2. While Alabama has had a few down years recently they’ve hired a great coach in Nick Saban and are ranked #9 after smacking around Western Kentucky on Saturday. The conference schedule will be tough and whoever does end up taking it deserves to be in the Natinal Championship game.
The SEC has five (5!!) coaches that have won a National Title – Saban, Meyer, Miles, Spurrier, and Fulmer. Another – Tuberville – had a 13-0 team in 2004 but didn’t get to play for the title.
The last two National Championships have been won by SEC schools – LSU and Florida
I love the SEC and I’m mainly writing this post because Matt has been pissing me with his pro-Mizzou garbage. Let there be no doubt if Mizzou played Georgia they would give up 90 points. It’s tough to live in a place where nobody knows enough about college football to have a decent conversation.
September 16th, 2008
For the first time in over 4 years I set foot in a place called School. Cicero’s Beer School to be exact and this was probably the best class I’ve ever taken. Timothy Suprise from Arcadia Brewing in Battle Creek, Michigan brought samples of four of his beers and discussed the ingredients and the process that went into making each. It was really interesting and fun. Plus the price was right: exactly zero dollars.
Here are the four beers we sampled last night:
Scotch Ale
This was my favorite beer of the night. It had a caramel taste and finished clean. Plus the website describes it as having “aroma of plums and toffee” so that’s good I guess. I had two more of these after class and got a pretty healthy buzz on thanks to the 7.5% alcohol content.
Coco Loco
I’ve had chocolate beer before and I’ve always thought it was disgusting but this was really good. I probably couldn’t drink a ton of it because it was sweet but a sample of it hit the spot. This would be a good desert beer.
London Porter
Meh. This one was kind of plain to me. It wasn’t bad it was just kind of there. I probably won’t be adding this to my rotation.
HopMouth
I do not like beers that are especially hoppy and bitter. To me an IPA usually tastes like gasoline. This was not an exception and it was bad, really bad.
I wish I had paid more attention to the food pairing advice Suprise gave. He had some good recommendations but they escape me now. Also I’m not a home brewer so I was a little lost when all the discussion of hops was going on but it was interesting. For the next 11 weeks I’ll be attending Cicero’s Beer School. I really need to “graduate” so I can get that dollar off beer card.
September 11th, 2008
In his new book Michael Kimmel questions why young men are delaying adulthood to continue to party with their friends. While the book mainly focuses on a group of douchebag fraternity-types who are out to get drunk, sleep with as many women as possible, and delay entering the workforce I can still find myself relating to these guys.
While I don’t consider myself a “bro” and my life isn’t filled with Jaeger Bombs and promiscuous sex (although I’ve had my moments) I have to disagree with Kimmel’s assertion that these guys are Peter Pans who are delaying becoming “real men.” I’m 26 and while I do have a real job I have no desire to be married and have children at this point in my life. Does that men I’m not a real man? No. I’d rather spend time with my friends, travel, and focus on myself for awhile. There’s not rush for a family and a house in the suburbs. I should be shooting loads for 50+ more years so I don’t really see the point of having kids while you’re in your 20’s. But that doesn’t mean I’m trapped in adolescence. I think Kimmel is writing from the perspective of a baby boomer who comes from a time when men were expected to have a wife and 2 kids by the time they were 28. Times have changed.
***
While I was reading about Guyland I came across another awesome/obnoxious book titled Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk. In it Daniel Maurer coins some new terms men should be using while they are around one another. It’s mostly stupid but a few made me laugh:
- Cupgrade – to upgrade to a girl with a bigger bra size.
- Trojan whores — hot chicks that you hide amidst in order to get into a club.
While I’m not proud of it I had my own set of ridiculous Dude Talk when I was in college. Some of the ones I can remember:
- The D.U.F.F. – Designated Ugly Fat Friend. You have to get in good with her before you upgrade to her hotter friend.
- Parking Lot Pimping – After last call and while everyone is all boozed up you search the parking lot of the club for your conquest.
Still I promise I’m not a “bro”.
September 10th, 2008
I was going through my Google Analytics report recently and I noticed some strange keyword searches on Google. Here are a few choice ones:
- “tasteless and offensive” net nanny
- dugong for sex
- model reading boobs
- manswers sailors had sex with sea animal
- sailors have sex with sea cows
- video of karen allen’s tushy
You guys are some sick puppies. I don’t know if I should make fun of you or feel bad that these searches brought you to my site. Actually I think my next goal is to have the strangest keyword bring back my site at the top of a Google search. Call it an experiment in SEO. We can find out once and for all if SEO really works.
Get ready to see this phrase peppered throughout my next few posts: Dr. Orangutan C Buttlove is seeking a playdate on the Sunset Strip. I can’t wait to see my referrer report getting even stranger!
*** Update ***
Well that worked.
September 5th, 2008
When we were in college my roommate Jon and I could drink all night long. Beer, shots, vodka, whiskey – it didn’t matter. Sit it in front of us and we’d drink until 6am with you. This weekend Jon and I went to LA to visit our friends Laef and Allison and I realized something had changed. Maybe we’re getting older but we just couldn’t seem to party as long as we used to.
Here’s some action shots from separate nights in LA:
Jon starts fading (night 1)
Jon falls asleep with a beer in his hand (night 2)
Jon in the worlds most uncomfortable position (night 3)
Jon takes a time out at the bar and is oblivious to Allison
Not to be outdone Allison decided to hammer 8 bottles of sake and pass out in the sushi restaurant.
Which reminds me of her last visit to St. Louis (at Lumiere Place)
You’ll notice none of these include pictures of me. There is some rumor of me falling asleep with a full beer in my hand and then spilling it on myself but with no photographic evidence I doubt it happened.
Update: You can read Allison’s account on her blog.
August 21st, 2008
This weekend I’m heading off for a well deserved and long overdue vacation. The walls of my cubicle are closing in and I’m ready to spend some time outside.
This is going to be a fairly unusual trip since It’s going to be a two part, bi-coastal, 10 day vacation. First I’m heading off with the fam to Orlando to stop by EPCOT for some drinking around the world and possibly to the Magic Kingdom or Universal for some coasters. Then we’ll head to Miami to chill on the beach, drink fruity drinks, and gawk at the models.
After I’ve had my fill of family time (which shouldn’t take long) I’ll be jumping on a cross country flight to LAX for a college roommate reunion. 3/4 of the team will be there — me, Laef, and Jon. We’ll have to be sure to call Chris and remind him he’s stuck in some mid-Missouri shithole while we’re stalking Lindsay Lohan. This part of the trip doesn’t exactly have a finite itinerary. I just have written down: 1) Dodgers Game 2) General Debauchery. The rest is just details. I’m sure Laef’s fiance Allison will be a major instigator. Pray for my liver.
No posting here for the next 2 weeks or so. I *might* be updating twitter from the iPhone but who knows. You can keep up with my tweets here:
twitter.com/ndoz
Peace out biotches!
August 7th, 2008
After moving into my new apartment last week I realized that the building was not wired for Cable. Apparently the building’s owner has such an anti-Charter bias he refuses to allow them to operate in his building. Convenient for the tenants for sure. I was left to choose between Dish Network and DirecTV for my television viewing.
The satellite guy recommend Dish Network because it was “easier” to setup for him. I really had no opinion either way so I signed off. After having virtually no problems with Charter other than the contractors they employ to install their equipment I was left to learn a new system. Here’s my opinion after one week of satellite service.
HD
I have a large and expensive TV. I have a certain level of expectation when it comes to my picture quality. Charter’s HD was incredible – the picture was crisp and the colors were vibrant. Their biggest problem was the dispute with Belo Corp that prevented CBS to be broadcast in HD. This required me to miss many SEC Football Games in HD. Not good times. I was looking forward to Dish Network’s HD. I knew they had CBS available and they also had many more HD channels than Charter. This of course was before I realized Dish Network recently lost an HD satellite. I’m not sure how that’s affected their HD capacity but the picture is not nearly as crisp as Charter. So far this has been disappointing. By the end of the year they’re supposed to launch the all-HD TurboHD explosion superpack which will bump the HD channels up to 150. Not much benefit if they can’t get the issues with the picture figured out.
Winner: Charter
DVR
With Charter I did not have DVR service because they had onDemand which I loved. Most of the shows I wanted to watch were available the next day on onDemand. Californication, Weeds, and Entourage were there, Music Videos were there, a whole slew of movies were there also. The only things that weren’t there were broadcast stations and sporting events and most of those things were available on Hulu. Now that I have Dish Network onDemand is not an option. Into the murky waters of DVR I now wade. It is a pain in the ass. For one thing you have to remember to record the shows you want to watch. With onDemand they were just there. Plus you constanstly run the risk of not capturing an entire episode of a show if it runs over or is delayed. Again with onDemand this was not an issue.
Winner: Charter
Pricing
With Charter I had all the movie channels, the HD package, and Internet access for about $108. Now with Dish Network I have America’s Top 200, 2 movie channels, and the HD package, and no Internet access for around $90. The lack of Internet access hurts and I have no doubt my bill will be pushed well beyond the $108 it was with Charter if Internet was factored in.
Winner: Charter
Outages
For me Charter’s outages were infrequent. I was once living in an old building and the Internet would go out semi-frequently but that was more of a hardware issue rather than Charter’s fault I believe. With satellite you are constantly at the mercy of the weather. In the first week that I’ve had service we had a severe rainstorm which knocked out service for the evening. When the winter snow season comes I expect further outages.
Winner: Charter
Channels
Due to financial constraints I dropped TMC, Cinemax, and Starz when I went to Dish Network. Those won’t really be missed. I got to keep Showtime and HBO as those are my primary viewing stations. Despite losing those movie channels I did gain several quality stations including ESPNews, ESPN Classic, NFL Network, and Fuse. Picture be damned there are many more HD channels available as well.
Winner: Dish Network
Contracts
With Charter there are no contracts. Cancel anytime. Change service when you want and there will be no fees. This has benefits and disadvantages. Good: If I dislike the service I can threaten to leave (and actually do it) at any point in time. Bad: Charter can jack up the rates whenever they choose (and believe they do it and try to be real sneaky about it). With Dish Network I have a 2 year contract. If I cancel service I will be hit with a hefty fine in the range of $120 or so. Contracts are a pain in the ass but at least you know there won’t be any surprise $50 upcharges on your bill.
Winner: Dish Network
Overall I think Dish Network has a lot of potential and I’m still figuring it all out but Charter did provide me with great service for over 4 years and at this point I still miss them.
Overall Winner: Charter Cable
August 4th, 2008
To honor the demise of Beer City, USA I’ve decided to rank the flavors of Anheuser-Busch beers. At least the flavors I’ve tried. The list is quite extensive and most of these I’ll assume are disgusting (Chelada — fucking sick!).
1. Bud Light Ah the old standby. Not too bad, fairly inexpensive, and much more flavorful than Miller Lite. Bud Light is a solid BBQ beer and the go to beer for any sporting event.
2. Shock Top One of the newer (if not the newest) beer in the A-B arsenal. I’ve long had a crush on wheat beers and this one is simply delicious. Perhaps even better than Blue Moon. This is a good beer if you’re out at a semi-classy bar and don’t want to look like an uncultured goof by ordering a Bud.
3. Bud Select Not bad tasting and a good beer if you’re watching your girlish figure as it only has 99 calories yet it doesn’t taste like the piss water that is Michelob Ultra (which won’t appear in these rankings).
4. Budweiser “The Great American Lager” is an ironic title now that the brewery is owned by a Belgian company. If you smoke Marlboro Reds, work in construction, or like to drink on the porch then this is the beer for you.
5. Bud Light Lime A little effeminate but this one goes good with Margaritas and Mexican Food. You can’t drink more than 2 though. Trust me I’ve tried. You’ll get nauseaus.
6. Rolling Rock Not a real fan. The website says it pairs thusly: “Serve Rolling Rock in a tall thin tumbler and pair it with citrus grilled chicken, ceviche with lime, pork tenderloin with mango chutney and pepper jack cheese.” I don’t even know what 40% of those things are. Skip it.
7. Natural Ice Now we’re getting to the good stuff. A little known secret to college kids as they usually default to Natty Light. Don’t get me wrong they both taste like shit but Ice has 5.9% alcohol content to Light’s 4.2%. Translation: Natural Ice will get you drunker, faster, and cheaper.
8. Busch/Busch Light/Busch Ice(?) The Busch line. The only reason to drink this is if you beat your wife. The white trash neighborhood of the 7-11 Cooler.
9. Tequiza Sick, sick, sick. Corona this is not.
10. Bud Extra Do they even make this anymore? It’s like an energy drink with beer in it. Or something. Avoid at all costs.
11. King Cobra Perfect malt beverage for drinking from a paper bag on the street or poring one out for your fallen homies.
I avoided the imports and focused on the American beers but the good ones include Bass and Kirin Ichiban. Stella Artois isn’t bad either but it comes from the InBev bastardization. Avoid Boddington’s, Beck’s, and Grolsch. Hoegaarden is so-so but fairly sweet.
I’m planning a farewell to A-B party where we can celebrate the beers of this once proud American company. Stay tuned.
July 24th, 2008
Last night I took a group of my friends down to the Scottrade Center to see the Foo Fighters. I say I took them because about 2 months ago I got all boozed up and decided to buy four of the most expensive seats I could find. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I’ve never really been a Foo Fighters fan and I haven’t followed their career closely so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I never had a problem with the band they were just sorta there. They were the guys with a few catchy songs and the goofy videos. Harmless at best. But then two things happened: The band released Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace which has 3 really good songs: The Pretender, Long Road to Ruin, and Let it Die and I caught their acoustic concert DVD Skin and Bones on TV. I was now a full fledged Foo fan.
I was excited to see this show. After settling into our seats around 7:15 the opening act Year Long Disaster ended it’s set within 10 minutes and Supergrass’s set was almost as short. Perfect. I wouldn’t have to put up with crappy opening bands while I waited for the real rock to start.
The place was absolutely packed and The Foo Fighters did not disappoint. They played a blistering 3 hour set. It is easy to forget how many Foo songs you’ve heard before. They really have a lot of popular tunes and they pumped through all of them including Let it Die, One by One, Big Me, All my Life, The Pretender, Learn to Fly, Breakout, My Hero, and Best of You. In the middle of the set a second stage was lowered from the rafters and the band was joined by 4 other members to play an acoustic set. This second stage was literally 30 feet in front of us and some of the highlights included Skin and Bones, Marigold, and an acoustic version of Everlong.
The show was also filled with Dave Grohl’s humorous comments such as "Stay in school kids. You don’t want to drop out like I did. I mean look what happened to me." and "You guys have to work tomorrow. Sucks for you." But the absolute best part was Grohl telling a story from when he was in Nirvana in 1991 and the band stopped at Mississippi Nights and nearly caused a riot when they invited the entire audience on stage. It’s nice when the band goes for more than just reading your city’s name off the back of a microphone stand.
This was a real rock show. It wasn’t My Chemical Romance or The Killers or whatever bullshit is passing for music these days. I would recommend everyone give the Foo Fighters another listen. They have some really good songs and put on a great live show.
July 21st, 2008
Sean Tevis is running for Kansas State Representative. Anybody with a cartoon using XKCD/Digg/Reddit to explain his policies gets my vote. Well if I lived in Kansas he’d get my vote I guess.
Check out the rest on his official campaign site.
July 18th, 2008
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