Hello? Is this thing on? I haven’t written a blog in 9 months and since I have so many lame married friends living vicarious I really need to keep up with this. Here’s a recap of the last 9 months in pictures.
In June I took a trip to Hermann Wine Country. The train ride was fun, the town is very nice, and the wine sucks. I still managed to drink 4 bottles. Passed out by 6pm and barfed all the next day. I think I’ve drank 2 glasses of wine since then.
This summer I built a fence. If you read Updates from the Alley you know that this was beyond necessary. Way too much sketchiness in my first year in this house.
It was pretty simple especially since we started with the pre-fab panels from Home Depot.
Fully assembled:
This is the best thing I have done to the house so far. No shootouts or ditched getaway cars in the yard since this project was finished.
I spent the 4th of July at the Lake of the Ozarks for 2 days of Killing Vegas shows. I don’t think I’ve ever drank that much light beer.
In August I took a trip to the beaches of Lower Alabama and grew an awesome beard:
Oil skimmers be damned:
In September I hosted a bachelor party:
Gah no pictures exist! I wish I could erase my brain of that night just as easily! Good God!
After surviving that bachelor party I served as best man to my old roommate Jon. This was my 2nd time serving as a best man and I’m scheduled to do it again later this year. After that I’m retiring from the best man business. I love you all now leave me alone. The amount of alcohol that I require to give a speech always leads to something like this:
For Halloween I went as Kenny FUCKING Powers. I was pretty popular all night. And by Popular I of course mean frat boys were shouting “You’re fucking out!” to me all night. Forti went as Evil Knievel and John went as some sort of Deacon. I like to think Latvian Orthodox. No Homo.
Another season of Rams football. Another season of drunks passing out all around us.
I got this idea for a post from Eric. Fittingly much of these can be found on Stuff White People Like but here is my list of goals/dreams for the next 5 years.
Travel
Travel to Europe. I’ve been to every major US city (except Boston but fuck that place) but I’ve yet to go to Europe. All of my out of the country traveling has been to the Caribbean and Canada so I’ve yet to leave the continent. I plan to accomplish this goal soon maybe in the Fall.
Hit all the major parties across the world. I’ve been to New Orleans for Mardi Gras but that one was easy. I’d like to go to Brazil for Carnivale and Germany for Oktoberfest.
Attend a major sporting event overseas. I’m thinking the Olympics in London in 2012 or the World Cup in South Africa in 2010.
Go to Wacken Open Air in Germany. I like metal. Deal with it.
Become an Expat. I’d love to live abroad for a year or two. Although I haven’t really been anywhere this seems like a great adventure. Living in a totally new place where you don’t speak the language or really know anyone appeals to me.
Keep up the tradition of “mancations”. I’d like to continue the annual trip to Chicago with my friends. I’m thinking this will become harder as people start to get married and have children.
Edumacation
Get my MBA. I’ve been putting this one off for a long time because I really think the MBA is valueless. But I do like school and learning things. Plus my GMAT results are about to expire and I’ve scored high enough to go to Stanford or something.
Learn to Sail. I’ve had a lot of fun boating in the Gulf of Mexico in my life but never on a sailboat. I’d love to learn how to do this and maybe do some sailing through the caribbean.
Learn a foreign language. I’m decent at speaking German but I need to sharpen my skills. I’m thinking French as my next language. In any case I’d like to go to a foreign country and not sound like a complete dumbass.
Adult Stuff
Buy a House. I have the money I just haven’t had the desire. To me buying a house always seemed like you were forcing yourself to be stuck in one location. I like change. I’ve lived in 8 apartments in the past 9 years. Recently my desire to own a grill and play my Wii without fear of being evicted have convinced me that a house might be a good investment. That and the first time home buyer’s tax credit.
Get Married. It may be toward the end of 5 years but shockingly this is a goal of mine.
Own a dog. The goal here is to prove to myself that I can have a pet without killing it. Next step: children.
Build some shit. My Dad finished our basement, built a deck, built a retaining wall, installed hardwood floors, remodeled the bathroom, and installed a satellite dish. For God’s sake I can barely hang a shelf! The desire to buy a house will probably force me to learn some of this stuff.
Do some more charity work. While my experience has been semi-limited it’s always felt rewarding. Plus one on karma for this one.
Do a better job investing. So far I’ve acted like a complete rube. All those cute little phrases you hear are true. “Buy on the rumor sell on the news.” Truer words have never been spoken.
Stuff I never want to do (no matter how old I get)
Wear a sweater vest to work. It’s a proven fact wearing a sweater vest to work makes you age 15 years in a split second.
Become the kind of person who has nothing else to talk about but my kids. So annoying.
Stop being awesome. I’m a pretty fun dude. If you’ve met me you can’t deny it. I want to be a fun 30 something too. I don’t want to turn into some crotchety old man when I grow up.
What about you? I’m ready to hear about your goals too. I’ve never tagged anybody in a post but here goes: Layla, Allison, Matt, Melody, Simpson and Scott what are your 5 year goals?
I haven’t had much time to blog lately but here are some things that have been on my mind.
Football Specifically Alabama-Florida. While Alabama is my team and they were ranked #1 I didn’t really expect them to keep up with Florida in this one. Florida had been destroying teams for 6 weeks and Alabama was winning close games with a tough defense and no mistakes. Alabama looked strong but in the end Florida prevailed 31-20. Florida was favored by 10 and they needed a touchdown and extra point with 2:55 remaining to cover. I can only imagine what the sports book at Caesar’s was like while all this was unfolding. I can say this Gary Danielson obviously has wet dreams for Tim Tebow. I can’t count the amount of times he called him “Bronco Nagurski playing quarterback.” Danielson also has this annoying quirk of shortening everyone’s name for no reason so Rashad became “Shad” and Kareem became “Reem”. Ridiculous.
The Blues I’m not a big hockey fan but my friend Jon has apparently won email of the day on The Morning After like 14 times and it always comes with some nominal prize. Last night he had 7th row seats for the game so I tagged along. It was pretty entertaining and the Blues ended up beating Nashville 5-3 6-3. Admittedly I spent more time admiring the mullets in the crowd than actually watching the game. The NHL is like a white trash Bermuda Triangle.
Bachelor Party This summer I’m going to be the best man in my old college roommate Laef’s wedding. Now Laef lives in LA so I was sweating trying to figure out how to plan a bachelor party in a city I’ve been to twice. We could have defaulted to Vegas but that’s been done before. Laef suggested Lake Tahoe. It sounds pretty fun — drinking, boating, gambling. Not bad. Now if I can just keep any incriminating evidence from his fiance Allison we should be good to go. After building their website and planning this party from 1900 miles away I’m turning out to be the best Best Man ever!
Killing Vegas My girlfriend had her first show with her new cover band last week and did pretty well. Her brother plays guitar in the band too so that’s cool. Killing Vegas will be playing again on Christmas Eve Eve at The Phoenix so stop by if you’re around.
Today is June 1st and in St. Louis that means the weather will be hot, sticky, and miserable for 3 solid months. I hate this time of year. I walked to Starbucks at about 1pm and I thought I was going to die. It feels like you’re walking through soup out there. I think I’ll spend the rest of the day in the AC. Somebody wake me when it’s fall.
Some other things that caught my eye this week:
Dumb Joke: Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” Have you heard that one before? Well apparently somebody turned that stupid joke into a stupid website. Just in time for the Sex and the City movie it seems.
Remember that creepy fat guy who gave us the terrible late 90′s boyband music trend? Well as he was creating the careers of The Backstreet Boys, NSync, and LFO Lou Perlman was apparently molesting some of them.
A fire destroyed the Universal Studios backlot in LA. Among the burned memorabilia was the Back to the Future set. That sucks.
This is very nerdy but this reference to a “GUI interface using Visual Basic” in CSI:New York made me laugh.
