This weekend was my annual trip to the Missouri Valley Conference tournament. I came to the realization that I’ve been to 7 consecutive conference tournaments and 9 out of the last 11. It’s shocking to me how old I’m getting. I was there to cheer on my Alma mater, Missouri State, and consume mass quantities of alcohol. Pretending you are still a college student for 3 days a year is still socially acceptable I think.
Despite 12 years of missing the NCAA Tournament (hello Barry Hinson era) I had reason to be hopeful for the Bears chances this year. Coach Cuonzo Martin had the team playing well and they managed a 15-3 record and their first ever MVC regular season title. Things were looking up for the program. But the MVC was down this year as it has been recently and it was looking like a 1 bid league again. So the only way for the Bears to make the NCAA tournament was to win the MVC outright or sit on our (pretty weak) resume and pray for an at large spot.
Day 1
The Bears had the #1 seed in the tournament and drew Southern Illinois who is an absolutely terrible team and had just lost to MSU by 20 points. We weren’t worried. I kicked the day off at 9am with my old roommate Jon and served up some beer, mimosas, and bagels. Things were looking good for some epic belligerence. This game was a lot closer than it should’ve been. The Bears could not make a shot. It was awful. We actually left our seats in disgust with 2 minutes to go and the Bears down by 9. After a last second change of heart we stayed in the arena and watched the game from the SRO section. Thank God we stayed. The Bears finally put it all together and went on an 11-0 run to win the game 58-56. We were pumped but definitely worried about the next game. On the way out I think I managed to berate (good naturedly) both Springfield broadcasting “legend” Art Hains and former AD Bill Rowe. Good times.
Now the fun really started. We met one of my coworkers (an SIU alum) in the Scottrade garage to gloat and do a little post-game drinking. They all seemed relatively happy since this now means they can fire their coach Chris Lowery. Somehow (and this is where I’m getting hazy) we managed to get into a suite for the second game. Here’s the view:
Since there was free beer I was ready to hunker down for rest of the afternoon. That was until Jon said “Dude let’s get out of here.” I didn’t get it. Then he said “Let’s get out of here NOW!” Ok then. So we left and when we hit the street I realized why. Jon proceeded to projectile vomit about 30-40 feet. I mean this was a rocket. Totally epic. We were also in a crowd of people so we got the hell out of there real quick.
Now let me tell you about Jon. His situation (read: WIFE) doesn’t allow him to drink very often so when he decides to throw down it usually goes horribly wrong. He even found out he had a curfew of 8pm (yes that is true) so he wanted to stay out longer. Which led to this:
He took a little nappy at Houlihan’s. But then he still wanted to stay out. So we ended up going to my new favorite bewb-tastic restaurant Show Me’s. It’s sort of like Hooters except the food is 100% inedible and the waitress are at least semi-attractive. Jon eventually gave up so we did manage to get him home by his curfew and spare me the wrath of another pissed off wife.
Day 2
The coeds were looking good on Saturday:
On day 2 I tore one off again. This time with my brother and dad. It was a similar story for Missouri State. They shot like crap and generally played poorly but still won. This time over Creighton 60-50. My dad can keep up with us (at least he thinks so) so it was a pretty good time. We took the Metrolink back to Show Me’s to see the sights then we went to Morgan Street and had some drinks and (possibly?) danced around like idiots. Soon we had to send daddy back home to St. Charles County on the train. He was done for.
This would’ve been a good place to stop but since we had to miss Mardi Gras this year we called a few people over to my house for a Hurricance. Somehow this lasted until 2am. Not a good idea. A (nameless) few of us were non-functional by Sunday.
Day 3
By day 3 I was dogging it and so was everybody else. We met up with about 10 people who had driven in from various parts of the state to see this championship game. They would have to face the long drive home disappointed.
Again the Bears looked like garbage. After shooting 19% in the second half (yes that is accurate) they somehow still had a chance to win. But Jermaine Mallet dribbled the ball off his foot with 3 seconds left for the turnover. Talk about a kick in the stomach.
So now we sit on the bubble again. Yahoo, Pat Forde, Joe Lunardi and The KC Star have us out of the NCAA tournament. It could be the 4th snub in 12 years for these Bears. That sucks.
March 7th, 2011
Hello? Is this thing on? I haven’t written a blog in 9 months and since I have so many lame married friends living vicarious I really need to keep up with this. Here’s a recap of the last 9 months in pictures.
In June I took a trip to Hermann Wine Country. The train ride was fun, the town is very nice, and the wine sucks. I still managed to drink 4 bottles. Passed out by 6pm and barfed all the next day. I think I’ve drank 2 glasses of wine since then.
This summer I built a fence. If you read Updates from the Alley you know that this was beyond necessary. Way too much sketchiness in my first year in this house.
It was pretty simple especially since we started with the pre-fab panels from Home Depot.
Fully assembled:
This is the best thing I have done to the house so far. No shootouts or ditched getaway cars in the yard since this project was finished.
I spent the 4th of July at the Lake of the Ozarks for 2 days of Killing Vegas shows. I don’t think I’ve ever drank that much light beer.
In August I took a trip to the beaches of Lower Alabama and grew an awesome beard:
Oil skimmers be damned:
In September I hosted a bachelor party:
Gah no pictures exist! I wish I could erase my brain of that night just as easily! Good God!
After surviving that bachelor party I served as best man to my old roommate Jon. This was my 2nd time serving as a best man and I’m scheduled to do it again later this year. After that I’m retiring from the best man business. I love you all now leave me alone. The amount of alcohol that I require to give a speech always leads to something like this:
For Halloween I went as Kenny FUCKING Powers. I was pretty popular all night. And by Popular I of course mean frat boys were shouting “You’re fucking out!” to me all night. Forti went as Evil Knievel and John went as some sort of Deacon. I like to think Latvian Orthodox. No Homo.
Another season of Rams football. Another season of drunks passing out all around us.
January 24th, 2011
This past fall I bought a home. I bought it in a “gentrifying” area of St. Louis (read: only 50% sketchy). Why would I do this? I couldn’t help it! It’s #73 on Stuff White People Like!
I love my house but there is the occasional disturbance that does occur mainly in the form of loud neighbors and speeding cars. Those are things I can deal with. Now maybe it’s the spring weather but in the past month there have been some extra sketchy things going on in the alley behind my house. My backyard opens directly to the alley. No fence, no garage, nothing. Sketchy.
Here’s the summary:
-
I come home for lunch one day to let my dog out. As I walk outside I see an abandoned car, crime scene tape, and about 30 police officers standing around. Not the most encouraging scene. After talking to a detective I determined that the guy who caused this accident which killed a police officer decided to ditch his car in my backyard. In MY backyard. Why? What are the odds? I’m in the middle of the block! Luckily the guy was caught and will probably be serving 25 years for 2nd degree murder.
-
Last Wednesday I came home around 9pm and once again let the dog out. This time there’s a police car in the alley directly behind my home and 4-5 officers with flashlights and guns drawn searching around. Looking in dumpsters, behind fences, under decks, etc. Apparently looking for a “black male with dreadlocks.” A police helicopter hovered over my neighborhood for at least 30 minutes. I haven’t 100% been able to determine what was going on but I think a woman was robbed about a mile away and the guy must’ve somehow found his way to my ‘hood. And my alley apparently!
-
Jump to yesterday. Sunday. This is much less scandalous but still not something I would see living in the suburbs. I was sitting in my kitchen enjoying my weekly Mimosa when I look outside to see a firefighter at the home diagonal to mine across the alley. I take a walk outside and I guess there was some kind of small kitchen fire because there are firefighters on a ladder breaking out windows for ventilation and smoke billowing (ok not quite billowing) into the air.
Needless to say my top priority this spring/summer is garage and fence. I already have the bids in I just need to secure some financing. City living at it’s finest! Now where’s that gentrification?
April 19th, 2010
No not the kind of Daddy that has to raise his genetic offspring, or the kind that has to worry about schooling, or my child becoming the town skank. Because this isn’t the type of child that started as a twinkle in my eye (balls). It’s the kind that has 4 legs and is covered in fur. We got a new puppy!
Trying to think of a name I was looking toward naming him after a famous figure in literature or music. Somebody that I would be proud of naming my pooch after. After many (MANY!) ideas I decided to go the simple route and name him after a key ingredient in one of my favorite drinks. So here he is —- Barley!
So far owning this dog hasn’t been much different that raising a human child (I imagine). There have been too many 5am whining wake up calls and some epic dumps on the living room floor. But we’re working on it. He’s only 8 weeks old right now and he just got his first puppy shots. Soon we’ll start leash training and taking him to Tower Grove Park for his walks.
He is 3/4 Chocolate Lab and 1/4 German Shepard (I think) so he could grow to be a big ‘un. All the more reason to spend my evenings trying to train this little monster.
Here’s a few more pictures:
March 11th, 2010
Well I’ve taken one more step towards adulthood/death. After 9 years of living in various dorm rooms and apartments I’m shopping for my first house. I have to say it’s not without a little trepidation either. In fact if it wasn’t for Obama’s First Time Homebuyer’s tax credit I probably wouldn’t even be putting myself through this. I don’t even care if this will send us into an inflation death spiral at least my mortgage will be $8000 less than you suckas!
My two biggest fears are:
1) I’m not exactly sold on St. Louis being my forever home. Hell 40% of me thinks I should just pack up and move to LA, or Italy, or Australia, or anything else. I’ve always viewed home ownership as cementing (i.e. trapping) yourself into one place for an extended period of time.
2) I don’t want to live in a shithole. In St. Louis you can get a very nice apartment for $900 a month in almost any neighborhood you want. I’ve lived in UCity, CWE, Clayton, and Maplewood. All because I wanted to. Buying a house is not the same. If I want a nice house I can afford I won’t be able to live in the “hip” neighborhoods or I can get a nice neighborhood and a POS house. Not a favorable situation.
The other big decision I need to make is Suburban or City. With a suburban house you get a bigger yard and less crime but also less activities in your neighborhood. With a city house you’ll have a slightly higher chance of being shot in the head on your way to your car in the morning but all the bars and restaurants are right there.
I think I’m leaning more city. St. Louis has some freaking sweet rehabs in the city. I mean imagine I lived here:
or here even:
The coolest place I’ve looked at is at the top of my price range but a completely rehabbed 3 story house. This sucker is 115 years old! I think that is really cool. Imagine living in a place that is older than every human on the face of the Earth (ok except for one).
I’m going out looking again this weekend (in 110° heat no less) and I’ll hopefully have a better idea of the neighborhood and type of house I want. Either that or I’m moving to Mexico to open a dive shop. I could go either way really.
June 26th, 2009
On Saturday I hosted what will hopefully become an annual tradition – the STL BreweryFest. In the 5 years that I’ve been back in St. Louis I’d never taken the Anheuser-Busch tour. That had to end. After mapping out a plan to hit some of the microbreweries in the area (3 at least, 9 at most) we were set.
Layla and I woke up early and rode down to AB with the Oldangerouses to take in some Clydesdales, Beechwood Aging, and free samples. I was a little surprised to see that Stella Artois was on tap but I guess it’s all part of the InBev family now. I had an American Ale and a Shocktop. Both were delicious.
The second stop was Square One Brewery in Lafayette Square. I hadn’t been here before since I never hang out in that neighborhood. We were joined by my cousin, his friend, and a very hungover Matt Smith. Now the party could start. The beer was actually very good. The Oatmeal Stout and Irish Red in particular were good. Some of the other participants recommended the Spicy Blonde but it wasn’t for me. Square One is also a distillery and they make their own Agave. TJ suggested we do a shot but I didn’t want to take a midday nap so we passed.
After some debate we decided to skip Morgan Street, The Stable, and Mattingly and head to a new place near SLU – Buffalo Brewing (nevermind that their website is terrible). I know bartenders hate making samplers but that’s what we were there for! We ordered 6 for the table. Even Matt sacked up and had a few. The Buffalo Gold was the lightest beer I’ve ever had and the Imperial IPA tasted like gasoline (100 IBU!) but the Belgian Dubbel and Extra Stout were holy delicious.
Our final stop was a place that I am all too familiar with – Schlafly Bottleworks. Considering I can walk there from my house it’s pretty safe to say I spend a significant amount of time there. The No. 15 and Kolsch did not disappoint. TJ managed to dump an entire beer on his wife and somehow my cousin got into a shouting match with a hippie while I wasn’t looking. Considering we’d been going for about 8 hours that was almost expected.
Next time we’ll have to hit Alandale, Trailhead, and Ofallon. St. Louis truly is Beer City, USA!
Special thanks to Mrs. Oldani for getting herself knocked up so she could be our Designated Dave all day long.
April 15th, 2009
Tonight is the beginning of an annual tradition. A weekend when I get together with my old college roommate and we head down to the Scottrade Center to cheer on our alma mater Missouri State at Arch Madness.
While this should be an occasion to catch up, watch some mediocre basketball, and talk about the good old days it always ends up a belligerent drunkfest in which we curse, booze, and quite possibly violate some minor civil ordinances. Generally we act like we’re 19 years old instead of in our mid to late 20′s. This year I’m going to try to avoid the Boone’s Farm and Keystone Light.
Here’s a couple pictures I dredged up from MVC Tournaments past:
March 5th, 2009
Up In Smoke
That’s where my money goes
In my lungs
and sometimes up my nose.
– Cheech & Chong, Up In Smoke
Last night I headed out to The Pageant to catch Cheech & Chong’s reunion show Cheech & Chong Light Up America. When I was little I remember watching the movies Up in Smoke and Nice Dreams and laughing yet not entirely understanding the jokes. Now that I’m older I was fully prepared for a night of stoner comedy.
The 7:30 show had sold out so we ended up getting tickets for the 9pm show. A planned a little later Sunday night than usual but nothing too extreme. But of course the show started late (never trust stoners to be punctual) and we ended up waiting in a line about 4 blocks long in 20° temperatures for roughly an hour. It wouldn’t have be so bad if we weren’t getting accosted by the homeless and the drunk/high people coming out of the early show.
The show itself was good not great. The pair did bits from Up in Smoke and sang the classic songs Born in East LA and Mexican American. I laughed but was often distracted by the obnoxious audience members seated near me. To be expected I suppose.
After leaving the theater and maneuvering through the parking lot I didn’t get home until after 1am. Definitely too late on a school night. Oh the things I do to myself to get a little culture.
January 19th, 2009
Ever since I moved back to St. Louis in 2004 I have had split-season Rams tickets. At the time I was a casual fan at best and since the Rams didn’t move to St. Louis until 1995 I had always felt like a baseball fan in disguise when I watched them play. But season tickets sounded like fun and a good excuse to spend time with my Dad and drink massive quantities of alcohol at 8am. As perfect a Sunday as I could imagine.
In 2004 the two Super Bowl appearances were still fresh in my mind and with Mike Martz at the helm I thought another appearance was imminent. It was not to be. Martz was shown the door soon after and the Rams have become the laughingstock (ok second to the Lions) of the League.
My Dad no longer attends games with me and I can’t drink nearly as much as I could 4 short years ago. In the 4 regular season games I attended the Rams went 0-4 and weren’t even competitive for the majority of the season. For this “privilege” I shelled out nearly $750 for my 2 seats.
My season recap:
New York Giants L 41-13
This was the Home Opener so I was pretty pumped even considering we had been destroyed by the Eagles the week before. My brother (who is still partially in college mode) came with me so I was trying mightily to keep up with him on the $9 beers which is probably why I remember mostly nothing about this game. What stands out for me is going to Hooters after the game and closing that place down at 11pm. That’s right 12 solid hours of drinking. God knows how much we tipped but all we got out of it was our waitress telling us she “was kinda into girls”. Perfect. For any of you in St. Louis you know taking the Metrolink home at this hour is out of the question. We had to hustle through the vacant (and dark) streets of downtown to find a cab and get our butts home safely. Luckily our cab driver made a few wrong turns and was quite possibly tweaking on meth. He also said Ryan Ludwick was potentially the NL MVP. Clearly he was doing some kind of drugs. It’s not a coincidence that many of my memories from this season do not center on the games themselves.
Buffalo Bills L 31-14
In Scott Linehan’s final game before they (finally) kicked him to the curb the Rams were embarrassed once again. Linehan departed with a stellar 11-25 record as Head Coach. My only memory from this game was the crowd. Let me say that my seats are relatively decent so I’m not sure how some of these hoosiers get down there but there they were. About 2 rows in front of me were two guys in Buffalo t-shirts. Clearly a father-son team with working class roots — maybe union pipe fitters or something. These guys were hammered beyond belief and kept screaming the same thing: “BUFFA-LO! BUFFA-LO!” for 3 hours. It was truly painful. I think we left after 3 quarters.
Chicago Bears L 27-3
Games against the Bears are always annoying. During these games a sea of Bears fans descends upon St. Louis. Sometimes it seems like there are more Bears fans than Rams fans. They’re certainly louder than Rams fans. This generally leads to an away game atmosphere at The Dome especially when Chicago is dominating. After the half Bears fans began filtering in from the rafters to replace the early departing fans. A group of 4 hooligans sat right behind us and began harassing everyone who was leaving early. I hate leaving early but this team has been painful to watch! So we bit the bullet and left in the early 4th quarter. And yes we got hassled by 4 drunken turds from Chicago whose team is going nowhere. Oh well.
Seattle Seahawks L 23-20
This game was a playoff for which 2-11 team would reside in the NFC West cellar. I believe my friend Jon specifically picked this game to attend because hey “we might actually win this one”. We didn’t. Besides a sweet Bulger to Holt touchdown the Rams played pretty poorly. This was hidden by fact that the Seahawks are truly godawful. Seneca Wallace has no business being an NFL quarterback. We thought this one was in the bag until Seattle tied it up with 5 minutes remaining. We knew the Rams would blow it so we left early (again this was painful). By the time we got to Hooters for a postgame pitcher it was over. A last second field goal sealed it. And the Rams go 0-4 in games I attend this season.
In case you think I just stare at cheerleaders all game (which I do) here’s how I break down the season: OJ Atogwe, Donnie Jones, and Josh Brown are the only players who are worth a damn. Jason Craft had a couple moments and I’d like to see Kenneth Darby (from Alabama!) get a shot at the second HB position next year. Chris Long had a decent rookie year. The rest of the team should be burned to the ground. The Rams should try to hire Mike Singletary, Bill Cowher, or Steve Spagnuolo as Head Coach, draft Andre Smith (Alabama again!) or Matthew Stafford, and fire the entire front office. I mean everyone!
Yes I’ll be shelling out the cash for season tickets again next year. I love Sunday afternoons at The Dome too much! C’mon on Rams do something this offseason!
December 17th, 2008
With today’s news confirming InBev’s acquistion of Anheuser-Busch St. Louis has lost another business headquarters and one of the defining icons of the city as well. At $70 a share the stockholders will reap a tidy profit but at what cost? As little as a year ago AB was trading at $45 a share which means that had you purchased at that time you would have realized a nearly 60% return on investment today. But is it worth it? InBev has announced that it plans to slash $1.5 billion in operating costs over the next 3 years which probably means that many of St. Louis’s 6000 AB employees will lose their jobs. Efficiency is the name of the game though and this is not the only time this has happened in St. Louis. A look at the recent business history:
A.G. Edwards was acquired by Wachovia which did end up relocating jobs here from Charlotte, NC but many other jobs were slashed.
May Department Stores was acquired by Federated (Macy’s) who eventually shut down operations in St. Louis and took 1700 jobs with them.
TWA was acquired by American Airlines who cut thousands of jobs and plenty of flights. This is the reason you now have a layover in Columbus in order to fly to Denver (an exaggeration but not by much). This one pisses me off the most.
McDonnell-Douglas was acquired by Boeing. This one wasn’t necessarily bad for the city unless you count losing the prestige of a corporate headquarters. Boeing still employs over 15000 employees here and it’s still a place I can routinely threaten to leave my job for.
Recent rumors/minor concerns:
International Bowling Hall of Fame is heading to Arlington, TX is the next year. Now I’ve never been to this place and it’s always gotten ridiculed by visitors to the city but I don’t like to see it go. Especially since it’s leaving to make way for the perpetually delayed Ballpark Village project AKA the St. Louis Cardinals version of suburban living in the city!
St. Louis Rams are going to be sold. Chip Rosenbloom inherited the team after his mother Georgia Frontiere passed away. Rumors persist that the team might be moved back to LA after their lease expires in 2015. A new stadium is probably necessary to keep the team here. Rosenbloom has no interest in running the team as he’s off producing B-movies in LA.
These are bleak times for St. Louis business.
July 14th, 2008
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