No not the kind of Daddy that has to raise his genetic offspring, or the kind that has to worry about schooling, or my child becoming the town skank. Because this isn’t the type of child that started as a twinkle in my eye (balls). It’s the kind that has 4 legs and is covered in fur. We got a new puppy!
Trying to think of a name I was looking toward naming him after a famous figure in literature or music. Somebody that I would be proud of naming my pooch after. After many (MANY!) ideas I decided to go the simple route and name him after a key ingredient in one of my favorite drinks. So here he is —- Barley!
So far owning this dog hasn’t been much different that raising a human child (I imagine). There have been too many 5am whining wake up calls and some epic dumps on the living room floor. But we’re working on it. He’s only 8 weeks old right now and he just got his first puppy shots. Soon we’ll start leash training and taking him to Tower Grove Park for his walks.
He is 3/4 Chocolate Lab and 1/4 German Shepard (I think) so he could grow to be a big ‘un. All the more reason to spend my evenings trying to train this little monster.
Well I’ve taken one more step towards adulthood/death. After 9 years of living in various dorm rooms and apartments I’m shopping for my first house. I have to say it’s not without a little trepidation either. In fact if it wasn’t for Obama’s First Time Homebuyer’s tax credit I probably wouldn’t even be putting myself through this. I don’t even care if this will send us into an inflation death spiral at least my mortgage will be $8000 less than you suckas!
My two biggest fears are:
1) I’m not exactly sold on St. Louis being my forever home. Hell 40% of me thinks I should just pack up and move to LA, or Italy, or Australia, or anything else. I’ve always viewed home ownership as cementing (i.e. trapping) yourself into one place for an extended period of time.
2) I don’t want to live in a shithole. In St. Louis you can get a very nice apartment for $900 a month in almost any neighborhood you want. I’ve lived in UCity, CWE, Clayton, and Maplewood. All because I wanted to. Buying a house is not the same. If I want a nice house I can afford I won’t be able to live in the “hip” neighborhoods or I can get a nice neighborhood and a POS house. Not a favorable situation.
The other big decision I need to make is Suburban or City. With a suburban house you get a bigger yard and less crime but also less activities in your neighborhood. With a city house you’ll have a slightly higher chance of being shot in the head on your way to your car in the morning but all the bars and restaurants are right there.
I think I’m leaning more city. St. Louis has some freaking sweet rehabs in the city. I mean imagine I lived here:
or here even:
The coolest place I’ve looked at is at the top of my price range but a completely rehabbed 3 story house. This sucker is 115 years old! I think that is really cool. Imagine living in a place that is older than every human on the face of the Earth (ok except for one).
I’m going out looking again this weekend (in 110° heat no less) and I’ll hopefully have a better idea of the neighborhood and type of house I want. Either that or I’m moving to Mexico to open a dive shop. I could go either way really.
On Saturday I hosted what will hopefully become an annual tradition – the STL BreweryFest. In the 5 years that I’ve been back in St. Louis I’d never taken the Anheuser-Busch tour. That had to end. After mapping out a plan to hit some of the microbreweries in the area (3 at least, 9 at most) we were set.
Layla and I woke up early and rode down to AB with the Oldangerouses to take in some Clydesdales, Beechwood Aging, and free samples. I was a little surprised to see that Stella Artois was on tap but I guess it’s all part of the InBev family now. I had an American Ale and a Shocktop. Both were delicious.
The second stop was Square One Brewery in Lafayette Square. I hadn’t been here before since I never hang out in that neighborhood. We were joined by my cousin, his friend, and a very hungover Matt Smith. Now the party could start. The beer was actually very good. The Oatmeal Stout and Irish Red in particular were good. Some of the other participants recommended the Spicy Blonde but it wasn’t for me. Square One is also a distillery and they make their own Agave. TJ suggested we do a shot but I didn’t want to take a midday nap so we passed.
After some debate we decided to skip Morgan Street, The Stable, and Mattingly and head to a new place near SLU – Buffalo Brewing (nevermind that their website is terrible). I know bartenders hate making samplers but that’s what we were there for! We ordered 6 for the table. Even Matt sacked up and had a few. The Buffalo Gold was the lightest beer I’ve ever had and the Imperial IPA tasted like gasoline (100 IBU!) but the Belgian Dubbel and Extra Stout were holy delicious.
Our final stop was a place that I am all too familiar with – Schlafly Bottleworks. Considering I can walk there from my house it’s pretty safe to say I spend a significant amount of time there. The No. 15 and Kolsch did not disappoint. TJ managed to dump an entire beer on his wife and somehow my cousin got into a shouting match with a hippie while I wasn’t looking. Considering we’d been going for about 8 hours that was almost expected.
Next time we’ll have to hit Alandale, Trailhead, and Ofallon. St. Louis truly is Beer City, USA!
Special thanks to Mrs. Oldani for getting herself knocked up so she could be our Designated Dave all day long.
Tonight is the beginning of an annual tradition. A weekend when I get together with my old college roommate and we head down to the Scottrade Center to cheer on our alma mater Missouri State at Arch Madness.
While this should be an occasion to catch up, watch some mediocre basketball, and talk about the good old days it always ends up a belligerent drunkfest in which we curse, booze, and quite possibly violate some minor civil ordinances. Generally we act like we’re 19 years old instead of in our mid to late 20’s. This year I’m going to try to avoid the Boone’s Farm and Keystone Light.
Here’s a couple pictures I dredged up from MVC Tournaments past:
Up In Smoke
That’s where my money goes
In my lungs
and sometimes up my nose.
– Cheech & Chong, Up In Smoke
Last night I headed out to The Pageant to catch Cheech & Chong’s reunion show Cheech & Chong Light Up America. When I was little I remember watching the movies Up in Smoke and Nice Dreams and laughing yet not entirely understanding the jokes. Now that I’m older I was fully prepared for a night of stoner comedy.
The 7:30 show had sold out so we ended up getting tickets for the 9pm show. A planned a little later Sunday night than usual but nothing too extreme. But of course the show started late (never trust stoners to be punctual) and we ended up waiting in a line about 4 blocks long in 20° temperatures for roughly an hour. It wouldn’t have be so bad if we weren’t getting accosted by the homeless and the drunk/high people coming out of the early show.
The show itself was good not great. The pair did bits from Up in Smoke and sang the classic songs Born in East LA and Mexican American. I laughed but was often distracted by the obnoxious audience members seated near me. To be expected I suppose.
After leaving the theater and maneuvering through the parking lot I didn’t get home until after 1am. Definitely too late on a school night. Oh the things I do to myself to get a little culture.
Ever since I moved back to St. Louis in 2004 I have had split-season Rams tickets. At the time I was a casual fan at best and since the Rams didn’t move to St. Louis until 1995 I had always felt like a baseball fan in disguise when I watched them play. But season tickets sounded like fun and a good excuse to spend time with my Dad and drink massive quantities of alcohol at 8am. As perfect a Sunday as I could imagine.
In 2004 the two Super Bowl appearances were still fresh in my mind and with Mike Martz at the helm I thought another appearance was imminent. It was not to be. Martz was shown the door soon after and the Rams have become the laughingstock (ok second to the Lions) of the League.
My Dad no longer attends games with me and I can’t drink nearly as much as I could 4 short years ago. In the 4 regular season games I attended the Rams went 0-4 and weren’t even competitive for the majority of the season. For this “privilege” I shelled out nearly $750 for my 2 seats.
My season recap:
New York Giants L 41-13
This was the Home Opener so I was pretty pumped even considering we had been destroyed by the Eagles the week before. My brother (who is still partially in college mode) came with me so I was trying mightily to keep up with him on the $9 beers which is probably why I remember mostly nothing about this game. What stands out for me is going to Hooters after the game and closing that place down at 11pm. That’s right 12 solid hours of drinking. God knows how much we tipped but all we got out of it was our waitress telling us she “was kinda into girls”. Perfect. For any of you in St. Louis you know taking the Metrolink home at this hour is out of the question. We had to hustle through the vacant (and dark) streets of downtown to find a cab and get our butts home safely. Luckily our cab driver made a few wrong turns and was quite possibly tweaking on meth. He also said Ryan Ludwick was potentially the NL MVP. Clearly he was doing some kind of drugs. It’s not a coincidence that many of my memories from this season do not center on the games themselves.
Buffalo Bills L 31-14
In Scott Linehan’s final game before they (finally) kicked him to the curb the Rams were embarrassed once again. Linehan departed with a stellar 11-25 record as Head Coach. My only memory from this game was the crowd. Let me say that my seats are relatively decent so I’m not sure how some of these hoosiers get down there but there they were. About 2 rows in front of me were two guys in Buffalo t-shirts. Clearly a father-son team with working class roots — maybe union pipe fitters or something. These guys were hammered beyond belief and kept screaming the same thing: “BUFFA-LO! BUFFA-LO!” for 3 hours. It was truly painful. I think we left after 3 quarters.
Chicago Bears L 27-3
Games against the Bears are always annoying. During these games a sea of Bears fans descends upon St. Louis. Sometimes it seems like there are more Bears fans than Rams fans. They’re certainly louder than Rams fans. This generally leads to an away game atmosphere at The Dome especially when Chicago is dominating. After the half Bears fans began filtering in from the rafters to replace the early departing fans. A group of 4 hooligans sat right behind us and began harassing everyone who was leaving early. I hate leaving early but this team has been painful to watch! So we bit the bullet and left in the early 4th quarter. And yes we got hassled by 4 drunken turds from Chicago whose team is going nowhere. Oh well.
Seattle Seahawks L 23-20
This game was a playoff for which 2-11 team would reside in the NFC West cellar. I believe my friend Jon specifically picked this game to attend because hey “we might actually win this one”. We didn’t. Besides a sweet Bulger to Holt touchdown the Rams played pretty poorly. This was hidden by fact that the Seahawks are truly godawful. Seneca Wallace has no business being an NFL quarterback. We thought this one was in the bag until Seattle tied it up with 5 minutes remaining. We knew the Rams would blow it so we left early (again this was painful). By the time we got to Hooters for a postgame pitcher it was over. A last second field goal sealed it. And the Rams go 0-4 in games I attend this season.
In case you think I just stare at cheerleaders all game (which I do) here’s how I break down the season: OJ Atogwe, Donnie Jones, and Josh Brown are the only players who are worth a damn. Jason Craft had a couple moments and I’d like to see Kenneth Darby (from Alabama!) get a shot at the second HB position next year. Chris Long had a decent rookie year. The rest of the team should be burned to the ground. The Rams should try to hire Mike Singletary, Bill Cowher, or Steve Spagnuolo as Head Coach, draft Andre Smith (Alabama again!) or Matthew Stafford, and fire the entire front office. I mean everyone!
Yes I’ll be shelling out the cash for season tickets again next year. I love Sunday afternoons at The Dome too much! C’mon on Rams do something this offseason!
With today’s news confirming InBev’s acquistion of Anheuser-Busch St. Louis has lost another business headquarters and one of the defining icons of the city as well. At $70 a share the stockholders will reap a tidy profit but at what cost? As little as a year ago AB was trading at $45 a share which means that had you purchased at that time you would have realized a nearly 60% return on investment today. But is it worth it? InBev has announced that it plans to slash $1.5 billion in operating costs over the next 3 years which probably means that many of St. Louis’s 6000 AB employees will lose their jobs. Efficiency is the name of the game though and this is not the only time this has happened in St. Louis. A look at the recent business history:
A.G. Edwards was acquired by Wachovia which did end up relocating jobs here from Charlotte, NC but many other jobs were slashed.
May Department Stores was acquired by Federated (Macy’s) who eventually shut down operations in St. Louis and took 1700 jobs with them.
TWA was acquired by American Airlines who cut thousands of jobs and plenty of flights. This is the reason you now have a layover in Columbus in order to fly to Denver (an exaggeration but not by much). This one pisses me off the most.
McDonnell-Douglas was acquired by Boeing. This one wasn’t necessarily bad for the city unless you count losing the prestige of a corporate headquarters. Boeing still employs over 15000 employees here and it’s still a place I can routinely threaten to leave my job for.
Recent rumors/minor concerns:
International Bowling Hall of Fame is heading to Arlington, TX is the next year. Now I’ve never been to this place and it’s always gotten ridiculed by visitors to the city but I don’t like to see it go. Especially since it’s leaving to make way for the perpetually delayed Ballpark Village project AKA the St. Louis Cardinals version of suburban living in the city!
St. Louis Rams are going to be sold. Chip Rosenbloom inherited the team after his mother Georgia Frontiere passed away. Rumors persist that the team might be moved back to LA after their lease expires in 2015. A new stadium is probably necessary to keep the team here. Rosenbloom has no interest in running the team as he’s off producing B-movies in LA.
I’ve already written about my disdain for the STLToday.com redesign. Well I still haven’t gotten over it. The geniuses over at the Post have decided to use a combination of Flash, JavaScript, and a kick in the nuts to shove advertisements in your face wherever you look. They are unavoidable. Here’s a brief tour in pictures.
The page loads. In the top left corner of the page seems to be peeled down revealing an ad that screams “Free Gas!” on a neon green background with white dollar signs flying around. The corner appears to be heaving/wheezing/pulsating and distracts you from reading the news.
What happens when you mouseover such an ad? Well of course it peels down to cover the entire freaking screen you’re looking at!
To get rid of this monstrosity you have to wait for the entire thing to peel down then wait for the close button to appear then click it then instead of just going away it has to peel all the way back up. Terrible implementation.
The second ad on the page is even worse. Worse because it’s almost unavoidable. If you scroll the page using the scrollbar you’re safe but if you’re like me and use a scrollwheel mouse or two finger scroll on a Mac you will hit this ad. This ad for Shubert Funiture Two covers the entire width of the page.
What happens when you mouseover it? Of course it covers the entire screen.
Again you must wait for the entire animation to complete loading then find the close button (not an easy task) and click it. I realize this is the “going out of business sale” but get out of my face. This has to be the most obtrusive news site ever created.
How has this effected my reading habits? Well I used to scan every section of the site now I just skim the homepage for as long as I can stand sometimes not even 5 minutes. I would be interested to see how their pageviews have gone down since the redesign. I’m now spending much more time reading The Guardian UK for my news. Shockingly the reporting on US news is better than what we have here in America. I’m also thinking about giving Newsweek a chance and for local news possibly switching to KSDK.com.
Just across the river there’s a lawless tribal region of Metro St. Louis. A place where the bars never close, alcohol is served 24 hours a day, and strip clubs outnumber churches ∞ to zero. That place is Sauget, Illinois.
A friend and I made the trip to this great American city and went to Pop’s to see Cemetery Gatez, a tribute to the greatest groove/power metal band of all time, Pantera.
I never got to see Pantera live when they were still together and ever since Dimebag Darrell was murdered onstage in 2004 I’ve felt like I missed an opportunity to see something special. Dimebag was one of the best heavy guitarists ever so I was excited to see if Cemetery Gatez could pull off this tribute.
The show was intense. The band opened with A New Level and kept the energy up through all the hits including Walk, I’m Broken, This Love, Cemetary Gates, Cowboys From Hell, Fucking Hostile, and Drag the Waters. A large circle pit opened up bringing most of the Pop’s floor into a flurry of legs, elbows, tables, and beer. This wasn’t a dead on tribute however. The vocals did a decent job emulating Phil Anselmo’s growl but the guitar solos weren’t exactly up to Dimebag standard. Cemetery Gatez got the job done however. I was happy to scream along with my favorite jams and ended up having a pretty good time. As I sit here 20 hours later my voice is hoarse and I can still hear ringing in my ears. Maybe I’m getting old quicker than I thought. I will definitely be going to the next show Gatez plays in St. Louis.
The show was opened up by Soul Descenders. Though they all looked like they were 17 these boys could shred. Probably one of the best local bands I’ve heard in awhile. Though I can’t figure out the band name. What exactly does Soul Descenders mean? Shouldn’t the name really be Descending Souls? Well nobody said they were geniuses but they can play.
For those of you uninitiated here is a collection of Dimebag Darrell solos:
Last night I went to see The Kids in the Hall at The Pageant and it was just as good as the TV show. I never saw the show before production stopped in 1995 but when Comedy Central picked it up in syndication in 2001 I used to watch it every day. I would get home from class (probably Accounting or something equally as asinine) and sit from 1-2pm drinking beer and watching KITH in the New Hall dorm at SMS. Ah college was great.
I was worried that the live show wouldn’t live up to the original series’s quirkiness. But it did and more. It was a cross-dressing good time. A few highlights:
The show opened with a video of The Kids planning a new show. For the opening they decide to rape Kevin.
A couple comes over to see a newborn baby but decides the child is pure evil. Quote: “It’s like Auschwitz in swaddling!”
A Buddy Cole sketch in which he proposes that Jesus Christ was a homosexual
Two salesmen promoting a device that can siphon fat from the gut to fuel American SUVs. Quote: “You mean those fat girls we finger-fucked in Texas held the key to the energy crisis?”
Dave invents a time machine which he uses during last call so he can go back in time 3 minutes and drink forever
Kathie and Cathy have lunch and Cathy explains how “tweaking” on meth can help you lose weight
Dave receives a BJ on his B-Day from his wife. Asked if he’s ok with receiving his BJ only once a year he replies, “Oh of course anymore than that and it would cheapen it.” To which his wife replies, “Oh, you’re such a feminist!” Dave then goes back in time about 3 minutes with the aforementioned time machine.
The Chicken Lady having phone sex. Instead of the exploding feathers she shot eggs as she climaxed.
Dave goes back in time (the time machine played an important role in the show) to kill Hitler but then decides he’s not that bad of a guy. He inadvertently creates Hitler’s hatred of the Jews.
Superdrunk! The man who becomes a superhero after getting drunk.
The show closed with The Headcrusher crushing the heads of various audience members then crushing all the Kids (including his own) heads.
This really was a good show. I didn’t even notice I was standing for 2+ hours.
For a special treat here is the newest KITH skit (potentially NSFW unless you work at Quizno’s):
