Last night I went to see The Kids in the Hall at The Pageant and it was just as good as the TV show. I never saw the show before production stopped in 1995 but when Comedy Central picked it up in syndication in 2001 I used to watch it every day. I would get home from class (probably Accounting or something equally as asinine) and sit from 1-2pm drinking beer and watching KITH in the New Hall dorm at SMS. Ah college was great.
I was worried that the live show wouldn’t live up to the original series’s quirkiness. But it did and more. It was a cross-dressing good time. A few highlights:
- The show opened with a video of The Kids planning a new show. For the opening they decide to rape Kevin.
- A couple comes over to see a newborn baby but decides the child is pure evil. Quote: “It’s like Auschwitz in swaddling!”
- A Buddy Cole sketch in which he proposes that Jesus Christ was a homosexual
- Two salesmen promoting a device that can siphon fat from the gut to fuel American SUVs. Quote: “You mean those fat girls we finger-fucked in Texas held the key to the energy crisis?”
- Dave invents a time machine which he uses during last call so he can go back in time 3 minutes and drink forever
- Kathie and Cathy have lunch and Cathy explains how “tweaking” on meth can help you lose weight
- Dave receives a BJ on his B-Day from his wife. Asked if he’s ok with receiving his BJ only once a year he replies, “Oh of course anymore than that and it would cheapen it.” To which his wife replies, “Oh, you’re such a feminist!” Dave then goes back in time about 3 minutes with the aforementioned time machine.
- The Chicken Lady having phone sex. Instead of the exploding feathers she shot eggs as she climaxed.
- Dave goes back in time (the time machine played an important role in the show) to kill Hitler but then decides he’s not that bad of a guy. He inadvertently creates Hitler’s hatred of the Jews.
- Superdrunk! The man who becomes a superhero after getting drunk.
- The show closed with The Headcrusher crushing the heads of various audience members then crushing all the Kids (including his own) heads.
This really was a good show. I didn’t even notice I was standing for 2+ hours.
For a special treat here is the newest KITH skit (potentially NSFW unless you work at Quizno’s):
May 21st, 2008
The USDA recommends we consume around 2,000 calories a day. Allowing for slight variations in height/weight and activity level I’m guessing I should be consuming around 2,800 calories a day to maintain the 220 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal™ I’m currently carrying around. But all this counting calories/carbs/fat/sugar is hard! Especially since I’m fully living the bachelor lifestyle and any expectations of regular fruit or non-fried vegetable consumption are officially nil.
Last week I was at my local Schnucks doing my least favorite chore – grocery shopping – in the only manner I can tolerate: breezing through the aisles not really paying attention to things like the items I’m grabbing or their cost all the while grumbling under my breath at the old people who get in my way. This is a tried and true system. I usually end up with enough food to eat 2 full meals a week, possibly a lunch, and strong enough coffee to raise the dead.
But something happened last week. After performing my usual shopping sprint/geriatric dodgeball session I rolled up to the register and started unloading my haul. I looked down into my cart and realized the sum total of what I’m going to be subsisting on this week: 6 rolls of toilet paper, a gallon of milk, and 6 cans of soup. That’s it! Somehow I’d managed to sleep-shop my way to a week of tomato soup and beef stew. Awesome!
This got me thinking. What if instead of counting calories I counted cans? Imagine that – Well today I had a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew, Green Giant Corn, and 6 Bud Lights. Well that’s less that 10 cans I guess I’m good. Choosing a balanced diet would be so much easier! Not to mention the grocery store adventures could be cut to < 8 minutes. I can't even imagine where this would put my daily sodium intake level.
My new food pyramid:
May 19th, 2008
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch underwent a redesign this week and the results are very….underwhelming. Now I’m not a designer (I mean look at the design of this site) but I can tell you what works and what doesn’t. This design does not.
A large city newspaper should look at least semi-professional. I’m not sure what the Post is going for with this one. I guess they wanted to “hip it up” and make it all web 2.0-y. But the teal background (ooh look a gradient!), gigantic hover menu, outsized fonts, and confusing page organization kind of miss the point. Really what should the most important part of this site be? Hmm, maybe the ability to easily find and read the content of the paper?
They’ve somehow decided to cram every possible link they have into the navigation menu. Just look at the size of this thing. Talk about obtrusive.
So far the readership has not been kind. Just read the comments on the post announcing the redesign: Frequently asked questions about the new STLtoday. Harsh. Really harsh.
I have higher hopes for the “#1 St. Louis Website.” I can’t even send a link to my friends in LA, Chicago, or gulp even Springfield without cringing. I know I’ll have to explain yes, this is actually our website. No, I don’t think it looks good either. Yes, St. Louis sucks compared to your city.
I don’t know. What do you guys think?
May 9th, 2008
With the 2nd pick in the NFL Draft the St. Louis Rams selected DE Chris Long from the University of Virginia. All week it has been reported that the Rams would select either Long or LSU DT Glenn Dorsey. The toughest defense in college football is always played in the SEC and I’ve seen Dorsey dominate punks all year long so I was hoping he would be the pick.
I was mildly disappointed when Long’s name was announced but after watching some video I’m feeling a little better. Long is a big, strong, and athletic end. He is the son of Hall of Famer Howie Long so he has a good pedigree and there’s probably a 60% chance that he’ll rock a sweet flat top at some point.
Glenn Dorsey fell to the Kansas City Chiefs at #5. Dorsey will be a solid NFL pro and the Chiefs are having an exceptional draft so far .
Chris Long will hopefully shore up a porous Rams defense and help the club rebound from an awful 3-13 campaign. Head Coach Scott Linehan’s head will be on the chopping block if they don’t.
April 26th, 2008
75 years ago our long national nightmare finally ended. It was now legal again to sip a beer in public. Prohibition in it’s strictest form ended with the passage of the Cullen-Harrison Act and all kinds of Alcohol were legalized on Dec 5, 1933 with the passage of the 21st Amendment. Imagine that – an amendment to the United States Constitution which banned alcohol! We can thank the buzzkills at the Anti-Saloon League and the Women’s Christian Temperance Union for that skidmark on our Nation’s most important document.
To celebrate our nation’s return to sanity I headed over to the Schlafly Bottleworks in Maplewood for the Repeal of Prohibition Beer Festival 2008 . For $30 you got a tasting glass and all the samples you could handle from five microbreweries – Schlafly, New Albanian Brewing Co., Mad Anthony Brewing Co., Brugge Brasserie/Wabash Valley, and Three Floyds.
Now as a general rule I operate under the assumption that all microbrews taste like a smelly old boot so I came into this event with no expectations. I figured I’d try a few beers and if nothing moved me I’d stick with the old standby – Schlafly Hefeweizen.
Surprisingly this beerfest delivered! For the first time I tried Schlafly’s Coffee Stout which is just as delicious as it sounds. I felt like I should be eating eggs with this beer. It would be perfect with breakfast! The Irish Stout, Oatmeal Stout, Maplewood Ale, and Summer Kolsch were all outstanding. Schlafly really came through on this one. Sadly there was no Pumpkin Ale – my favorite of the Schlafly seasonals. I guess I’ll just have to wait until September. Fall means football and Pumpkin Beer and that always gives me something to look forward to.
The other breweries, however, disappointed as expected. I honestly think NABC’s goal is to give people alcohol poisoning. Their Imperial Pilsner (8%) was just ass. I managed to choke it down but it gave me flashbacks to the night I went round for round with a case of La Fin Du Monde (9%) which I later realized translates to "The End of the World" and from what I remember – which is nothing – the title is well deserved. Not an experience I would want to repeat. Imperial didn’t stand a chance with me. The Thunderfoot (10%) was equally potent and just as gross. I lost feeling in my tongue after trying this one. I think I’ll steer clear of New Albanian the next time I’m in New Albany, IN.
Mad Anthony’s Black Squirrel Stout, Three Floyd’s Rabbid Rabbit, and Brugge’s Tripel de Ripple all disappointed. Maybe next year Schlafly can just showcase it’s own beers – and put some Pumpkin on tap!
April 16th, 2008
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